110 Things to Know About Me

Okay, so there are some things you need to know about me. But you must be asking – who cares? No one. So why bother read it? Yeah, you shouldn’t bother. But I feel like jotting some things down. All 110 things! That many? I’m a self loving little gremlin (cute name). So read anyway. I can’t stop you, can I?

1. I have long fingernails (unpolished). And it suits me. It’s not on purpose, I just always forgot to cut my nails.
2. I am forgetful.
3. Hilary Duff is the only actress that can make me cry in her movies.
4. I love mushrooms!
5. I only eat onions in pizza, aside from that I hate onions.
6. I have long skinny feet. And any kind of footwear looks good on me because of my feet.
7. I love bullying Benjie (my dog).
8. I love Ashlee Simpson’s rock songs.
9. I hate the color pink. It’s too girlie for me, specially fuchsia. I think it’s ugly.
10. The only pink shades I love are light pink and old rose.
11. I am not girlie but not boyish neither.
12. I try to imitate Christina Aguilera’s voice. I just adore her voice so much. I always failed miserably.
13. I want to work in other country someday as a teacher.
14. I love kids.
15. I have the patience of the dead. So I’ll probably get that hundred dollars on boiling point.
16. I hate math.
17. College Algebra is the only subject I failed.
18. I have no siblings, but LOTS of cousins.
19. When I was a child, I was a bully. I made boys cry. And teachers, cry harder.
20. I hate my nick name Vhessa. I think it’s not cutesy enough. But I was the one who called myself Vhessa when I was just learning how to talk. I kept saying Vhessa instead of Vanessa. So the name stuck.
21. I love my parents, I really do.
22. My mom taught me how put make up. Isn’t she cool or what?
23. While white women love getting a tan. I am crazy over whitening products. A true Asian.
24. I can’t live without my cell phone.
25. I don’t like drinking alcoholic drinks.
26. I don’t smoke.
27. I lost my daddy’s first gift (ring) to my mom.
28. I have glow in the dark stars and dolphins all over my room. At night, it looks so magical.
29. I have a wild imagination.
30. I used to wrestle with my cousins, Sarah and Kuya Ker. I always win against Sarah but lose to Kuya Ker.
31. I am terrified of frogs and house lizards.
32. I’m not afraid of spiders, rats and cockroaches.
33. I am athletic.
34. I am good at badminton and Taekwondo.
35. I am a terrible dancer.
36. I am quite good at writing. I have written several short stories, both unpublished and published.
37. I always cram. Projects, exams and even homeworks.
38. I hate the sun. I love the rain.
39. I have cool parents.
40. I value education so much.
41. I have short hair since birth. I always cry inside the hair salon when I was a kid. I beg them not to cut my hair because I want to let it grow long. But my mom said that I’ll look more skinny if I have long hair. She said that it’s going to take all the nutrients away from me. As of writing, I still have short hair.
42. I love my friends!
43. I am a good liar. I always lie when I need to. Nobody ever discovers.
44. I am a procrastinator.
45. I am a dog lover.
46. I have long eye lashes. They are really long plus they’re not fake.
47. I am quite tall for my race.
48. Being a Filipino makes me so proud.
49. I fight a lot with my friends, that’s how we keep our friendship strong. Plus, it’s my way of saying I love you guys.
50. I am a curious person.
51. Sometimes I am nosy.
52. I always feed the Mayas (a kind of bird) with rice after I ate lunch every weekends. Now their gone, must be because of the series of storms.
53. I have the habit of asking silly/lame questions like “is that your name?! where did you get it?!” or “how come you live that far and still got to school here?” Sometimes they laugh at me, sometimes they got offended to my questions, like “are you gay? You act like one.” Sometimes they try their best to answer me. I am even more terrible when I was a child.
54. I love controversy.
55. It’s impossible to transform me into a vegetarian. I am picky with my greens.
56. Before Benjie, there was Jayson, Monica, Paula, Clinton, Boomer and King.
57. I had a pair of love birds before. Jack and Jill. Another pair, Pepe and Pilar.
58. I hate politics.
59. I receive at least 20 SMS a day. My classmates always want to disturb me but I can’t help it. Either they really like me or they really hate me.
60. I love watching horror/suspense movies at night, when I’m alone.
61. I love eating, and I don’t get fat.
62. My I.Q. is above average. 115, no big really.
63. I still watch Kim Possible and The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.
64. I am a Disney channel fan, ever since I was a kid up till now.
65. I love animes.
66. For jeans, I prefer to wear skinny jeans and low waist. And I match it with tunic tops.
67. I don’t drink coffee.
68. I can’t live without a roll of tissue around. I always sneeze! I’ll die of embarrassment if I sneeze without tissue.
69. I may not be girlie, but I just can’t resist girlie accessories like semi precious crystal necklace, cute bracelets, dangling earrings, and more.
70. I claim to be simple.
71. I love hanging out with gays. Their fun to be with.
72. I dislike lesbians. I am more of a gayish side.
73. I seldom go to church on Sundays. I’ll go only on special occasions. I am not overly religious but I believe in God.
74. I’m born under the sign of Capricorn.
75. I used to think that I am born in the year of the snake. I always like snakes. But now I just found out that I am born in the year of the Dragon. So much better than snake!
76. I don’t have a boyfriend yet.
77. I am care free.
78. I am straight forward/frank to the point people think I’m rude. But people who know me very well are alright with it.
79. I am a good critic.
80. I love strawberries.
81. I improve my cursive handwriting. It used to be so ugly but now it’s err… readable!
82. I’m not an extravagant person.
83. I’m always late.
84. I think Jessica Simpson’s stupid. It’s just my opinion anyway. Who here think the same way? Raise your hand!
85. I have a lots of copied DVDs and CDs. They’re so much cheaper and almost the same as the original. Why would I burn money in one CD if I could burn lots of CD inexpensively?
86. I love games.
87. I am addicted in winning.
88. I can get pretty violent when I’m happy.
89. People tell me I’m talkative. I am not. Maybe a little… OK! I am talkative.
90. I love bargains.
91. I am optimistic, kind of.
92. I always share my blessings. I love doing charitable things.
93. I have thick eyebrows before, I shave some of it and my friends won’t stop talking about it.
94. People always notice if there’s something new about me.
95. My favorite movie of all time is Jurrasic Park… what?
96. I am a corny person.
97. I love laughing. Sometimes I laugh when I’m alone. Scary, huh?
98. I act like I’m drunk when I just woke up and when I’m sleepy.
99. I’m always hungry.
100. My problem is that, I don’t get fat even if I eat a lot. I really want to gain weight. It’s either a gift or a curse.
101. I am outspoken. I tell what’s on my mind.
102. I never go out without my eye liner and my lip gloss.
103. I have deep dark eyes and a shiny black slightly brown hair.
104. I look young. My friends cannot tell the difference of my grade six picture and my high school picture. I really look young, really. Well, that’s what they told me.
105. I love shopping.
106. I still don’t know how to drive. Neither a car nor a hopper.
107. I love watering our plants. It’s fun splashing water all over with a pail.
108. I hate having to dust my room. I always get sneezy.
109. I once almost die of choking. My dad save my life by hitting my back with his hands. I don’t know if it’s right but it work! I swallowed a large chicken bone. Now, how did I do that?
110. The craziest thing I ever did in high school was throw a mud at the friend of my friend’s crush.

Bye Bye to the Earliest Christmas Gift

I just did a very important job today...

I giftwrapped my cousin's gift to our nephew!

Am I good? Oh, you bet I am. I'm pretty darn good. My cousin even cried when he saw the marvelous-glittery-shining-can-fool-you-to-think-expensive-gift-ever. Ya, I am quite good at wrapping things up. Actually, and obviously, I'm just exaggerating. The truth is, he just went over to borrow some scotch tape. They were out of it. Who the hell in his right mind would borrow scoth tape from a house 2 blocks away?! Why not buy? Really cheap. But instead of buying scotch tape, buying a pair of scisssors and greeting cards to a shop, he went to me and asked for it. Do I look like a one-stop supply store?! Better wear a card board that says "Hey! I got it all! Borrow from me!" Ah shit! I gave it to him anyway. No choice, too kind.

So how did I end up wrapping a gift which is not from me, not for me and specially no fee? I don't know really. But that is a good question. It all happened so fast. I should go to his house tomorrow and charge him! If he won't give me credit for my work I will charge at him! Seriously.

Actually, he gave me brownies after I've finished wrapping up his little toy car. Hope Jek jek's not reading this. Seriously, it's not that bad except that it's half eaten by my obnoxious cousin. But accept it anyway, ah heck! We grew up together biting each other's arm so half eaten brownie's no big.

Actually, giftwrapping thingy is pretty normal. (normal?!)

........

Until Jek jek entered dashed into our gate. Making a loud BOG! Our nephew, the poor gift receiver. Poor him, really cheap toy. So before he could burst into tears upon seeing the gift (dunno whether happy or not), we frantically find place to hide it. Don't mind the wounded kid, just find place to hide.

Think, if Jek jek's got wound from the gate (what a stupid kid), there be blood all over. Then I have to clean it, I'm going to smash his little cheap toy car.

Good thing the boy's a survivor, not even a scratch. Thick skin I tell ya. Lucky toy.

So where was I? Oh yeah, find place to hide! Quick!

I was looking left and right to find a place to hide. And the idiot's (a.k.a. cousin) looking up and down! What the @#$^@!&*???!!!

He said "there! give me!"

Handed him the gift. Going to hide it in the fridge? What an idiot!

So I said "NO! There!"

"Where there?" (him)

"Over there!"

Have to snatched the gift from him and put in on the floor and kicked it until it slide under the sofa. Long distance man, so clever.

We both feel an idiot when we found out that the loud "BOG" was my dog Benjie hitting the gate again. Don't know what's wrong with that dog, must be really lonely. So what? Everyone in our family is crazy even the pet.

Last words.

Cousin: I feel really stupid. (shoulders down, terrible actor, I can't symphatize with him so...)

Me: Don't worry. You look like one too!

SWOOSH! He hit me with the gift. Hope it got warranty. It broke. Stupid boy.

Hey look on the bright side, at least I got my revenge.

My Dad, Our Provider.

How many women got marry and lived happily ever after? Probably not many. How many found their Mr. Right and lived happily ever after? Probably not many. How many are actually happy with their Mr. Right? Probably none. But if being happy with your Mr. Right means that you want to spend the rest of your days with him, even if he makes you cry most of the time, and he always makes you mad… then, probably, many women are happy.

Just like my mother.

My mom is a simple house wife and is very strict yet loves having a good time. She is one lucky woman because she met my dad. If your going to ask me who is more luckier, my dad or my mom, it’ll be my mom. It’s not because my dad is rich, or he’s super handsome, and it’s not because he’s famous or he have a killer job. Rather it’s because he’s just a plain man. I idolize my dad so much, because for me, he is the perfect guy.

My family faced a lot of hardships, and my father experienced the most sacrifices. And me being the only child, doesn’t help.

When I was two, my dad left us. He went to South Korea. He didn’t left us because of another woman or something like that. He left us so that he’ll be able to feed us and support us. Because every Filipino knows that the money’s not here in the Philippines, it’s in another country. If your going to insist on finding a job here, you’ll either face underemployment (with super low salary) or unemployment. So even if my father finished his bachelor’s degree in Commerce major in Accounting, he worked abroad as a factory worker. That’s right people, my dad, the factory worker.

I never got to see him when I was growing up. My mom would always tell how great my father is. For me, he is the super guy. Every time I looked at his picture, I remember calling him daddy mahal (daddy love). It’s funny coz’ even if I never got to meet my father in person when I was a child, I love him. I always love him. Maybe because he always sent me toys, gifts, chocolates and letters. He always reminded me that he loves me even if I we don’t see each other everyday.

Every night, I included him in my prayers.

When I was in third grade, my father went back home for some reason I’m not allowed to tell. Just as suspected, he faced unemployment here. Occasionally, he was contracted to be an accountant for some constructual site. All I know was he would do inventories and stuff like that. But it’ll only last for few days, then his back to being unemployed again. Jobs here in the Philippines are really hard to find. And if you found one, you might not be happy with the minimum salary. That is why there are many OFWs or Overseas Filipino Workers working hard in other countries so that they could give their families a better life.

The salary is not enough for him to pay my tuition fees. And what happened was my mom kept borrowing money from our relatives. And believe me, the one who received all the insults was my dad.

My dad was depressed and sometimes he went home drunk. So much for a happy family huh? My mom seemed helpless and I was there not knowing the real situation. It’s a good thing that my mother was not a nagger. But it’s a bad thing that she kept everything to herself. And there was this time when my mom have an operation and my dad would have to do all the house chores and take care of me and my mom. It’s not hard for my dad because my grandmother raised my dad to know how to do house chores. He cleaned the house, cooked, and did the laundry while my mom was recuperating. He had to budget the money when he went to the market and buy some goods. I remembered that he was so good at budgeting, we ate one kind of dish for a week. Don’t worry, we live….

When God closed a door, he opens a window.

When I was in the sixth grade, good fortune came. My dad got hire in Brunei to work in some hotel. At first, it was difficult adjusting, both my dad and us. He left us again. He made another sacrifice again, and this time, we know that it’s for the best.

He made many friends in Brunei. Because he’s friendly, polite and hard working. Filipinos are known for that. That is why many countries prefer to hire Filipinos because of our good traits.

My father is also a gentleman, and a man of few words, but he always keeps his words. I remember when I was a little girl, we were riding a crowded bus. My dad let a woman take his seat. And he spent the rest of the ride standing. I admired my father for his actions, nowadays, it’s rare to find a man like my dad.

After years of working, and now I am in college, thanks to him, we have a better life. My dad made a lot of sacrifices. And even if he’s earning $600+ every month, he still send almost all of his earnings to us and still manage to buy himself electronics like home theater system and even sent it to us! He is so selfless.

He lavish us with material gifts if he could, so that he could make us happy. But all I want is for him to come home. But if he did come home, especially that I’m still studying, then we would experience the same faith we once suffered from. So you see, there is no choice but us to wait until I graduated. That is why I am studying hard so I could get a better job. So that my dad will finally take a rest from working and start relaxing. I want to be the provider of my mom and dad. My dad taught me that sacrifices are made for the ones you love.

My mom and dad didn’t got the fairytale they deserve, because there is no such thing as fairytales. But they do live happily ever after despite the hardships. I am happy to say that even if are not wealthy with money, at least we are wealthy with love. I am happy to have a happy and healthy family.

I only hope that when I finally met my Mr. Right, he would be just like my dad. Although my mom always tease me that my dad is one in a million and it’ll be impossible to find somebody like my dad, I’m still hoping. My mom is so lucky.

And this coming Christmas, he will have a vacation here for a month! Enough time to witness my 18th birthday in January. I am so happy to see him again. I miss you dad and I love you. Looking forward to seeing you again.

Sweets Are Artificial

Things that are sweet don’t last forever. Because every little sweet thing is artificial. No matter how sweet it was there is always an expiration, always an end. Sometimes when you insist on tasting the expired one, you’ll end up tasting the bitter side of it, throwing it up and then blaming yourself afterwards. Blaming yourself that you shouldn’t have insist on tasting it again, because you know from the beginning that it just won’t taste the way it was before. The bitter part of life. Sometimes, an apple you think that’s sweet can be sour, sometimes it have worms inside it, making it rot internally.

Sweet things are artificial, superficial and it gives you a toothache.

It gives you pain.

Sweet things in life are the ones that gives you the most painful pains. The sweeter it is, the more it’ll hurt you. There are times when I want to keep on holding that lollipop forever. Forever rolling it inside my mouth. Tasting that sweet strawberry flavor that tickles my taste buds. I want to cling to it but the lollipop will eventually and will always become a mere plastic stick in the end. It’ll always leave a trace of it’s sweetness behind which I try so hard to desperately lick until there is no trace anymore. I was like an animal longing to taste the same sweetness again and again. I am addicted to it.

I want to see the colorful candy wrapping that whim my imagination to a gigabyte of insanity. I know that inside that colorful candy wrapping is a sweet, not sour, but pure sweet little oval ball. And I know that putting it inside my mouth will give me an unsatisfied satisfaction.

Sweet things are ugly inside, and we all know it. But why must we keep on coming back for more? Isn’t it enough to be hurt once? To suffer only once?

Did our dentist prescribed us to eat sweets at least ten times a day?

I guess, it’s human nature. We live to hurt, to be hurt by the sweetest things in life.

Somehow, I want to get hurt. Please, my chocolate, don't melt. Not in my hands.

So it’s true then. All sweet things are artificial, superficial and yes, it gives you toothache.

I Decided.

I decided that I should be more serious and less cranky. Thus, my new blog name will be “One Serious Blog”…….

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

Goody Good People

I hate being surrounded by goody good people. People who are trying so hard to be perfect. People who are trying so hard to be like by everybody. People who are obviously faking it but still pleases everybody. I hate people like that. Using their looks, their wits and their charm to be goody good. Naturally faking it and getting away with it. I know some goody good people and I pretend to like them. I try to be close to them not for the sake of being like by them or being like by goody good people’s friends, but just for the sake of avoiding to be dislike by them. Because being dislike by them reduces my pretend factor twice than being dislike by ordinary people. You see, I like to pretend. I need to pretend so that it’ll hide the real selfish me. I am very different from goody god people. I try to be superior so that others will like and respect me. While goody good people, who in fact annoy me, try to be likeable so that they’ll please everybody.

Our president in class is a goody good, our vice president is a goody good also. Some popular students in school are goody good. Goody goods are obvious pretends. I hide pretending, while they show it off. I hate the feeling of being secretly mock by them. It slowly penetrates through my nerves and give me something to hate about, to think about and to envy and pity about. Politicians are also goody goods. They promise the masses flowery development and the masses know that it’s just another fake promise but still cling to it and hoping that they’ll keep that promise. Keep my ass. Goody good people are just plain irritating.

Goody good people try to hold on to their moral values and despise unacceptable actions, when in reality they are the one who act on it. Words and fake actions are goody good people weapons.

I know a goody good person and I am quite close to her. She is a really nice girl. Everybody likes her, adores her and tries to be like her. I really hate the fact that I also like her, adore her and try to be like her but hate her at the same time. I like her because she is such a goody good, that at first I thought she was for real. But being too good means something is wrong. I see through her actions. That is something I have, being able to read other people, see their real intentions whether it’s good or bad. Maybe because I’m just like that, always faking it, always pretending. So back to her, when we were sitting at our classroom, one of our classmates showed us a sex scandal in her cell phone. The girl involved was not one our classmates but a girl from our school. It was not really sex because it only involved the groping of her breast by a guy. After the video, the goody good girl was all like, “yuck!” and “eeee!!”. Okay, I know it’s a normal reaction after seeing that kind of thing but repeatedly saying it after seven minutes is way over. I know she’s religious and a goody good, but let’s face reality, things like that are really happening. And her yuck’s and eeee’s are just plain annoying. Goody good people try to perfect their moral standards. Showing other people how good they are. I hate that. If I am selfish then they are worst than me. They let other people feel bad about themselves because they are such goody good.

Compare Ugly

Have you ever been cold to somebody just because of the wrong kind of comparison? I have….

I have a classmate name Ana (not her real name). She was a smart girl, but all her smartness remained unnoticeable. Maybe because she’s not that popular in class, unlike me. She was a shifter last semester. At first, she was just talking to my friend, Cristina. I guess, Cristina is friendlier to new faces than me. I don’t usually talk to people not worthy of my attention (snobness?). Then Ana started hanging out with us, which is okay with me, to get to know her better and all. But the problem with her is that she talk about herself too much. I guess it’s okay talking about yourself, but overdoing it?

So, she went on and on and on and on and on… We just kept quiet, as if we can relate to her. She said that she can easily spot rich people, you know, with their clothes and jewelry. Yeah right, what if there fake or imitation? I asked. Well, she said that rich people look rich.

For me, NO. Poor people can also look rich if they can groom themselves quite well. And what about geeks? They don’t look like it, but hello? THEY ARE RICH. Where do you think they get their ipods, laptop, and other hi tech gadgets. From the toilet bowl?

Of course, I kept quiet. I did not want to offend her or something, after all, she’s new. And just to prove her point of being ignorant and narcisstic, she said that she’s not that beautiful (yeah, I can see that).

I just kept…. quiet.

And that she loves seeing beautiful people. Then she got started on that kind of subject again. You know what. Then she talked about music, fashion and other stuff, in which we didn’t gave any much opinion because Ana was all talk and no listen. So after that, maybe Cristina noticed that I’m starting to dislike her, actually, I already dislike the bitch, so we stopped hanging out with her.

Weeks later, she and Cristina and me, got close. Let me clear. CLOSE, not friends. I don’t know how that happened. Maybe because she kept talking to us. She is really funny you know. The excessive crap about her is just one thing you don’t wanna know about her. So minus the over talking and stupid view in life, she’s one great gal. Until one day.

I was waiting for a jeep for a ride home, when we saw Ana. She was all happy that we’ll commute together. Ok.

Cristina went walking because she have to get a ride at the high way since she live in a different place, but I can get my ride just in front of the campus. So to escape from walking with her to that highway (it’s a really hot day, and I hate the heat of the sun, makes me look like a coal), I commuted with Ana.

On the way, she… yap, you guess it, started talking about herself, especially her new boyfriend. So I pretend to be interested. Then she shifted the topic about me and Cristina, tagging us the inseparable duo, which is true. Ana then, out of nowhere told me that Cristina was like Crystal and I was like Charming. If you don’t know Crystal and Charming, they were both characters in a t.v. show Bakekang. Crystal was an actress, beautiful and kind, while Charming was very ugly and was a maid. They were twins separated when they were only kids. And Bakekang is their mother, who is really ugly, just like Charming.

I got really offended. Who is she to compare me? I know I’m only average looking and Cristina is really pretty. And the reason why Ana compared me to Charming is because Cristina is more beautiful than me. I know that I am not beautiful, but fuck, who are you to tell me that? I am not ugly. I repeat, I am average looking. I tried my best to keep my patience. Good thing I got off.

The point is, that if you hate the person from the beginning, just keep hating them secretly. Especially ignorant people like Ana. She just have a boyfriend, and she thinks she could say that kind of stuff to me. She is not that pretty. If your going to compare somebody with her friend, make sure it’s something good, coz if not then just keep your mouth shut.

Don’t worry, I didn’t got mad to her or have a catfight with her. I just didn’t talk to her, and begun being cold to her. I wonder how long it’ll last. I don’t know. Try FOREVER, bitch!

To Ana:
Listen, girl, you have no right to comment about
me, my love life and my friends, which you do most of the time. Your love life?
Oh please, your boyfriend? First, he have a girl’s name. Second, he’s fat, dark
and very ugly. Third, it’s obvious that he doesn’t even love you because he
don’t really look sincere when with you. Your boyfriend is ugly and a jerk. And
compare to your boyfriend, he is much better than you. You both were like “The
Beauty and The Beast”. He’s the beauty (considering that his ugly), and you’re
the beast.

How does it feel being compare now, huh?

The Big Girl, The Little Girl and The Impossible

I can’t help overhearing my cousin’s conversation with her niece.

“I’m going to marry my boyfriend when my waistline become only 22.” “So that does mean your not going to marry your boyfriend?”




“No, but we made an agreement that when I become rich I’m going to have a liposuction and then I’ll marry him.” "So that does mean your not going to marry your boyfriend?!”

“Shut up!”

Kids these days. Their just cluelessly honest.

They Who Disappoint Me the Most.

Before you yawn and skip the 1st paragraph or the whole thing… Just analyze it first. This could be happening to you.

What is a true friend? Someone who you can rely to no matter what, even if the odds are high. A true friend is someone who offers help even if your not asking for it. A true friend is someone who lend a helping hand even without your awareness. A true friend never turns his/her back on you even if your the meanest person.

A true friend doesn't humiliate you in public even if he/she is really mad at you. A true friend never leaves your side even if distance separate you physically. A true friend never forget you even if you were separated for 80 years! A true friend is someone who's willing to lie for you and correct your mistakes afterward even if he/she is punish for it. A true friend never forget that you need him/her in times of need even if your not saying a single thing. Someone who makes sacrifices for you even if he/she is going through hard times. Someone who never keeps a grudge on you. A true friend never brags about things he/she did for you.

I am not wishing for a perfect friend, but is asking for a true friend too much for me? Because I just realize that I do not have any true friends. Just companions.

I know that this is plain weird for me to realize just now that I do not have any true friends. That a person like me, who is friendly and full of pretends can be so disappointed by her own friends. I am like that. And please, do not take pity on me because I am fine. But seeing my situation now just bothers me. A lot.

I know I haven’t blog for a long time now. And I don’t think that I’m even serious blogging this thing now. But please, bear with me. It’s just that there are a lot of things on my mind that needs to be resolve. I may write some things and keep some for myself because I do not really want to take pity on myself. I don’t want to sound just like a loser, because I am not one. But the thing is… I am deeply aware that this kind of thing shouldn’t be happening to me. I am strong yet I feel so weak whenever I thought of my friends or companions leaving me one by one. Maybe I am such a terrible person that the people who loves me (or I think who loves me) are turning their backs on me. Friend #1 is giving me a cold shoulder treatment and is starting to get boring as time passes. Friend #2 isn’t really a friend to me because she isn’t always there for me, especially when times that I am depressed. Friend #3 just want happy times with me but disappear when I needed someone to talk to. Friend #4 don’t really appreciate my writing and calls me “talentless” even in a joking manner, and that really hurts me. Friend #5 just won’t grow up, still the childish person that she is and say hurtful, senseless things that she shouldn’t be saying. And if I tell you about friend #s 6-10, 11-15, and so on, you won’t be really please. Am I that terrible to have friends who don’t appreciate me? Who are secretive and not loyal to me? I am trying my best to keep our friendship afloat, but it seems that I am the only one trying. I thought I have good friends. But their just companions and their not even good. Or maybe I’m the selfish one. I don’t know. But whoever or whatever it is, it’s something not good. Look at me, I am not even worried that they might read this stuff. Because they never open my blog, even if they knew the address. They just can’t be bothered of their busy little lives doing nothing. So not supportive. Maybe I have poor judgment in a person’s character because I just made several mistakes. Mistakes that cannot be corrected. I am so sad that I am unappreciated by my friends but worshipped by other people. People who adores me are the same people that I hate. Same people that I don’t give a damn. But they appreciate me. And that’s what I’ve been wanting my friends to do, but is it too much for me to ask? Am I being too selfish for them? Or too perfect to be their friend? Because I am the one suffering here and they do not give a shit and that sucks. Sometimes I just want to swap friends with other people, if that is only possible. But I just can’t throw them away. That is just impossible. I still care for them but I am really bored with them. They are not fun anymore, not true anymore and what’s more, not loved anymore.

When a friend broke your heart, it is more painful than a lover’s breaking your heart. You can’t sleep without tears in your eyes and the guilt that comes within. The guilt that you can’t just ignore. It is like your in the circle but you feel so left out. I felt those feelings over and over again but I just won’t learn. I just won’t quit. Because I feel that someday I can change my friends and I’m clinging to that. Even if I know that it’s next to impossible, I am still trying and trying until they accept the real me and in a way, appreciate the real me. I guess that I’m an unappreciated genius, surrounded by people who adores me so much but knows nothing about me. And people that knows a little about myself with the mask on but with abilities exposed… but still regards me as a person who’s seeking attention. I can’t help it. It’s their fault anyway. Maybe I should just give up. But I can’t. I can’t stand to see people, to hear them saying that they don’t want to be with me anymore. I don’t want to be rejected. I fear of being unhappy just by seeing the face of my so-called friends.

The only thing that helps me right now is to write. Write terrible things about them. Make them look bad. Mention names and so on. But I can’t and won’t do that. What kind of friend am I? I really love them and I wish that they will change for the better. They are really nice people but they are horrid friends. They are smart and witty and good looking and nice but all those characteristics are a waste to my sight. Other people regard us as A students, cool peers and any nice adjectives you could thought of. I am not bragging but very upset by them. So thoughtless. So unappreciative. So uncaring. I wish that they will treasure me as much as I treasure them.

Like I told you, do not take this seriously. I am just escaping to my friends-related problems. Everyone do the same things anyway. I am a selfish bitch who couldn’t care less. If I am just wasting your time, then it’s your fault. You shouldn’t read this. But I didn’t waste your time, and I know that you know it too. Because you just read the whole crap.

Have you ever felt like you want to desperately inject an overdose of anesthesia to your neighbor’s back? Or scratch the wall with your long fingernails until it bleeds? Or do you ever want to jump on somebody and put a burning stake with shattered glasses on her mouth? Or smashed your dean’s head on the wall until she die? And spell the blood suicide on your dog’s face? Have you? I have. There. I already feel better.

Cascading Ideas #3

Wish my 3 friends a HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY (PARTY)!!!!!!!!!!

It’s Hazel, Kristina and Aileen’s 18th birthday!

Don’t forget! October 21, November 3, and November 5!

And oh! My twin friends’ 18th birthday is today!

WISH THEM ALL A HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

My 18th BIRTHDAY IS ON JANUARY 18!!!!!!!!

WISH US ALL HAPPEEEE BIRTHDAY!!!

DO NOT EVER FORGET ---->>> All violators will be shot by a permanent colored fake bullet that clashes with your outfit… Survivors will be shot again. I’ll apply no mercy! I’ll know if you didn’t wished us happy birthday… trust me, I’ll know…

~~~~~~~~~~

Ok! Where were we? Oh yes, party. And speaking of party, if you’re a guy, never ever ask a girl this question at a party: What is the most expressive part of your body? You know why? Because if you ever ran out of anything to converse with a hot stranger babe at a party, and out of nowhere you pulled the question “What is the most expressive part of your body?” (ha! Tough luck)…. Trust me, once the question ended, you’ll hear the most high school, scripted, dramatic piece ever and a giant (round, like a ball…) iceberg will bounce on your head. Because 98% chance will say that their EYES are the most expressive part of their body. That is a stupid answer. That is so like 5th grade! And to tell you the truth, what made you so sure that the eyes are part of your body? It’s part of your face (don’t try to oppose me)! I would clearly like to point out that the saying “Eyes are the windows of the soul” is so like for high schools (unless you’re a high school). Yeah right, save it for the theater. You know what the most expressive part our body is? It’s our ass.

Yeah, why not? Eyes or ass? Surely ass.

If your not getting all these, just… Sit. Stay. Don’t bark yet.

Yes, our ass is the most expressive part of our body. Because you can hear it, smell it and see it! See? Expressive right?

So if your at a party and you approached a girl and asked her, WHAT IS THE MOST EXPRESSIVE PART OF YOUR BODY? And she answered “MY ASS.” Do not get offended… LOL… Just let your imagination run wild, your with a real woman.

Let’s see how many morons will ask this question tonight. So how about you? What is the most expressive part of your body? ; p

~~~~~~~~~~

I have nothing against eyes. The truth is, I believe that my… I mean the eyes are the most beautiful part of the face. My… I mean the eyes are very pwetty!

Otherwise, take my friend’s answer on what she think is the most expressive part of her body is. She stood up and waved her hands sexily… and answered…. MY BODY.


LOLz

~~~~~~~~~~

My gosh! I am crazy over the Korean show Ms. Kim’s Million Dollar Quest!

The leading man is so cute! The story is good too.


Okay, so the story is about Ms. Annie Kim, who got dumped by his groom to be, Ryan, on the day of their wedding. And the woman who got her man is a ….. tantanan…. A millionaire! So to prevent public humiliation, she pretended to ran away with a photographer named Gaby (the leading man). And she swear that she will become rich to get her fiancé back at all cost! And so, Gaby’s there to help her achieve her goal, falling for her along the way. And so the mix up begins!

I’m crazy over that show! Wah! My mom told me to calm down but actually she felt the same way. Hehehe!

Ok, bye. I don’t wanna miss a single moment of the show.

BYE!

Sorry For The Long Absence

Due to my long absence in blogging, I felt oblige to tell you what I’ve been up to this past two and a half weeks. Damn! It felt like forever.

The anguish part….

I want to kill my evil professor for being so (what’s the word again?... Oh!) EVIL! She is the most evil professor our class had ever encountered since… I dunno…. BIRTH!

She must be ashamed of herself!

Here is what she claims:

*She claims that the only way to salvation is knowing the absolute truth, by reading the Bible. (agree)

~She claims that we (her class) is the most irresponsible class she had ever handled. (agree)

#She claims that she does not rejects or in some way hate any religion other than hers (she’s born again). (agree)

:She claims that she will not tolerate our UNcreative presentations as a group. (agree)

+She claims that we must be responsible college students. In doing so, we must always come on time and practice professionalism. (agree)

The interesting part is…

*She says that we (Catholics) have wrong beliefs because we worship icons and images. And says that the Bible clearly stated that we should not worship any false God other than God (or something like that). Therefore, we DO NOT know the absolute truth.

~She absented these past few days without any excuse or whatsoever at all. Making us suffer with her make up classes unfit to our schedule at all. Claiming that we must value her subject also, so we must pay for her absences. Claiming it to be a sacrifice for us, even though she know that we may fail our other subjects if she force the make up classes due to our tight schedule.

#She, in any way, have offended our religion.

:You must know that she announced us to present a creative presentation the day before. Making us cram for other subjects other than hers. And telling us to submit a thesis the day before about the presentation. And the day of the presentation and submitting our thesis, she rejected every thesis from every group, claiming it to be inappropriate and reprimanding us because we didn’t put our hundred percent effort and time. Hallo?She just told us the day before! Making us redo and resubmit the thesis.

+She gave us our final test with NO complete relation to her lesson or her subject in any case. She didn’t even discuss it. And calling us lazy students for not knowing it, which is by the way, the mission, vision, goals and objectives of our beloved university. WTF? Letting the whole class have a very miserable day and suffering.

The ironic part is….

I am the leader of our group in her class. Taking up all the responsibilities, sufferings, blames and research work (a little help from my members because they took pity on me). She said that leaders have secret sufferings and love for her members. (ironic)

Our class cards in her subject will be distributed on the same day as the enrollment. Which is a big problem because we need all of our class cards before we could enroll. Therefore, possibly delaying our enrollment if she gave it to us late.


And her subject is…










VALUES EDUCATION








Other than her subject, our class have to get ready in other subjects. Like Oral Communication, because our darn final exam is a speech on symposium. After days of researching, making a speech, and memorizing the 8 minutes speech, and organizing my members (I was the leader again), we made it! I got a grade of 96 percent, making me the highest scorer of our subject’s final exam. I dunno about my members, we were graded individually.

Other than those two subjects, we were overloaded with responsibilities. So no time for blogging.

Aside from school suckish part I have to get ready for my….







BEST FRIEND’S 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!




Which is a formal celebration. My mom bought me a very pretty powder blue (the motif) cocktail dress and pretty accessories to match! Isn’t she the coolest or what?

I’ll update about the party around November. The party’s on November 3…





But the real reason behind my long absence is…..




My computer got virus. AVG cannot heal it. I accidentally deleted the corrupted files. I didn’t know what to do for about two weeks. Then today, I thought of system restore. Problem fix!


I’ll probably be updating more often now. SO HAPPY! And my loads got lighter now. SO VERY HAPPY!

FREE Buttons! Yes, it's FREE!

Hey Guys!

I found a new hobby today. I make buttons, I mean blog buttons! So I guess you can call me a button-maker... erm... wait, that doesn't sound cool. So anyway, I make horrific, I mean terrific buttons (at least for me). If you want one, just contact me. It's free! Why free, you say? Because I want to practice my skill (if I have one).

Here are a few samples of my not-that-ugly work:

What do you say? Not bad, huh? Oh! And these are just samples. You could request a certain size or font or picture or whatever, you get the point right?

E-mail me and I'll make you a customize button for free!

Stuck Up Situation!

I have weird classmates. Ahahaha! Take a look at this:

She put masking tapes all over her hair for no reason! My professor even told her (jokingly) that she is going crazy! See?

I think she’s proud of it! When the class ended, her friend helped her to remove the masking tapes that were stuck on her hair. Well, I could hear a lot of ouch coming from her! That’s for sure!

Why would she wanna do that? But it’s a good laugh, let me tell you.

My classmates are the weirdest for no reason! Do you have weird and crazy classmates? Or maybe your the weird one?

I don’t quite understand why people act the way they are. Like, no sane teenager would wanna be the laughing stock of the class unless they are of the male species and can take humiliation to the extreme level. I know nothing about stupid joke and practical jokes (except when I was a kid). I mean, what’s it worth? If your just going to make people laugh at you (not with you) because of making yourself look stupid. Is she craving for attention? It’s not healthy but it’s darn enjoying let me tell you. We laughed the whole time AT her, even our professor. Forgetting that there is a reporter in front. Maybe it’s worth the laughing because we did enjoy ourselves and pay no mind to the lesson (which is exactly our point). But she made herself looked like a bad actress in a theater where people are throwing tomatoes at her (and she still enjoys it a lot). To understand me better read this:

Lily is not a comedian, but rather a trying hard girl who craved for attention. She was like some other loser with some 4 out of 100 sense humor left in her body. She wanted to make everybody around her laugh because she wanted to be (well, what else?) POPULAR! But with her every try, her plan always ended up in the dump truck, and if the dump truck’s not available… at the sewer. If people are kind to her, they would just call her dumbbell, after all she really look and sound like a dumbbell. Lily’s favorite act is the bucket stuck on her head. Then some kids would knock at the bucket, and even though she was already half deaf with the loud and continuous knock at the metal bucket
vibrating throughout her body, she still don’t mind it as long as people are happy.

One day, the town mayor announced that there will be a contest at the square plaza this afternoon. The contest consisted of two parts: The greatest weeper in the world and the greatest laugher in the world (what kind of contest is that?) and prize is a lifetime supply of Oreo cookies! Weee! Of course, everybody knows that the information was a bogus. It doesn’t take a genius to know that such contest existed. The mayor isn’t the mayor either, it’s just the mayor’s son messing up with his office. The mayor is away, out of town maybe and his son, for some reason, has the exact same voice as his father’s! So all he did was phoned the event planner and wella! A fake contest on the loose.

Lily upon hearing the news was so excited, because once again, she’ll be able to show off her talentless talent. She was like, the dumbest person to be fooled by the naughty mayor’s son (but really dashingly handsome). The afternoon came and she was the first to be listed on the contest, and the last one. People crowded the stadium out of curiosity. Finally the announcer said: “Ladies and gentlemen, the only person who’s stupid… *cough* I mean, brave enough to show her talent. May I present you, Lily!”

Lily was so excited that the bucket slipped into her hand as she was walking. Making her stepped on the bucket with one foot stuck in it. She then was the laughing stock of the people again! But she doesn’t feel humiliated, as a matter of fact she was proud to win the contest (as if she had competition). The mayor’s son, who is dashingly handsome fell head over heels in love with her. He immediately asked her to marry her and she accepted with the life time supply of Oreos in her mind.

They were going to kiss in front of these people. Slowly their heads were 1 inch apart from each other. The guy opened his mouth and she did the same to received each other’s hot blazing kiss when Lily fainted.

The guy got a major Halitosis and was diagnosed to be incurable.

~FIN~

Moral of the story: Don’t try to be funny if your really not funny. Bad things happen to those who tries.





Haaaa! I am going crazy!

Bye!

Asian Chick Rocks!

So what if I am just another 17-year-old-innocent-little-girl? What if my first encounter with the word fucktard humiliated me? Yes, humiliated! There was this guy who claim that he is going to be the internet rock star or something. He post some ridiculous, horrid entries. And that I have to react to it and call him Mr. Fuckard, not knowing what word actually means because I am just a minor (that’s what he said). And that blabbering idiot called me stupid because I spelled it wrong (anyone can commit mistakes you know?) and accused my blog of being vapid and all. Well, MR. FUCKTARD, I’ll call what I want to call you, and please stop putting SIC on everything I say because that made you look and sound like a clown hang up on a piece of decaying termites-infested-wood, trying to look and feel intelligent. So what is your I.Q. anyway? I have an above average 115 I.Q., not much for being a 17-year-old-innocent-little-girl, huh?

Innocent 17 years old girl? Not that innocent. So not innocent that I don’t have any boyfriend because I am damn pissed off with guys who are so air headed. So not innocent that I don’t reply to suitors, via internet. Guys-who-don’t-get-it, they keep on sending me e-mails that has a picture of a bouquet of roses, telling me that he is an engineer and 20+ age something and doesn’t have any girlfriends, that is looking for a loyal friend and is waiting for my immediate response and so on…. *yawn* Heck! Why would I do that?! Not so innocent huh?

What about the chatters that offered dirty proposal to me? I ignore them. Or a guy who pretends to be a teenager but the truth is he is already an old bald man. I can see through his fake words.

But what pisses me the most are people who are too stupid to admit their stupidity. (note: you’ll read a lot of “stupid” words here)

I quit joining in chat rooms because it have a bunch of some American and European morons there (well, not all of them, so before you start barraging me with your stupid words take some time analyzing the difference between some and all). Why I quit chatting? Simple, they are too stupid to handle me. When a fellow Filipino joined the same chat room, I greeted him and made a remark that the Philippines is a very beautiful country. Then some Aussiedick (or something, an American) blurted out in the chat room that all PHILLIPINO are whore fucking monkey bitch! So I told him that before he fucking insult us FILIPINOS, learn how to spell first!

Some Darklily (or something, a European) said that FILIPINOS are monkeys!

Here’s how the deplorable conversation goes:

A fellow Filipino (don’t remember his username): Hello! I’m from the Philippines.
Vhessa (me): Really? Wow! I can’t believe I bumped into a fellow Filipino here! Btw, Philippines is a beautiful country.
Aussiedick: PHILLIPINO are whore fucking monkey bitches.
Vhessa: Before you insult us FILIPINOS, at least learn how to spell first.
Aussiedick: I spell it like that because of my deep hatred for the PHILLIPINO.
Vhessa: Yeah right! Excuses, excuses. Dude seriously, if you can’t spell then fucking admit it. You sound like a monkey.
Darklily: FILIPINOS are monkeys!
Aussiedick: Yeah, PHILLIPINO are monkey-eating!
Vhessa: Whatever! (what they didn’t know is that I was private messaging the fellow Filipino and we were laughing at their stupidity)
Aussiedick: PHILLIPINO are walette and money rabbers. They are money sucking bitches.
Vhessa: You know what my advice to you?
Aussiedick: WHAT?!
Vhessa: ……….. ....
Darklily: Filipinos are two stupid for advises.
Vhessa: Both of you should swallow dictionaries.
(then some LOLs from fellow chatters)

[Vhessa left the chat room]

End of conversation.

I can’t believe that a join force between an AMNERIKAN and a UROPIAN were so ridiculous (so how does it feels, huh?)! Ahaha! I just laughed at it! Because I defended my beautiful country from a bunch of morons. Your not one of them, are you?

So before you start harassing this 17-year-old-not-so-innocent-not-so-little-girl, try to know where you stand first.

Gouod knight! (oops! Speel cheqker hir!)

I'm A Cold-Hearted Idiot!

Hhhmmppp!!! My template look so unorganized…. but heck! I like it, so back off! LOL

~~~~~~~~~~

I was very exhausted today…. Courtesy of Taekwondo!

But hey! I’m eyeing a [guy] prospect here girls! Finally a love life! But *sigh* he’s not good at Taekwondo. He kicks funny and he really look like a trying hard idiot. Although he is good looking, I don’t think he’ll pass my standards. Ask Cristina! LOLz

Aside from Taekwondo, I've been really REALLY busy. I'm just a 2nd year college student but I'm already doing demo's and field studies!

Read my essay (1st paragraph) and you'll know what I mean, ok?

Moi Quack All Day!

I will not waste my valuable time and my camera’s battery on stupid Benjie. I asked him to pose for me and he gave me this!

So enough about the mutt. I almost swallowed my pencil today because I found out that I was pregnant! Ahahaha! That would never happen. x p

But seriously, I really almost swallowed my pencil today because of the earth quack, erm, I mean earthquake drill. It was 9:15 this morning. (So, what were you doing at that time? Hmm?) So anyway, I was copying the lecture and scratching my head at the same time in our trigonometry class. And as I was “unconsciously” biting the other end of my [magic] pencil, the siren from the fire fighter’s alarm went like, wang! wang ! wang! And I was like, what the hell?! We exited from our building and campus. It was darn boring waiting outside coz’ we were just standing there. Wack! No rescue drill? No fainting victims? No everything? None! What kind of earth quack…. Erm… earthquake drill was that? That was like the most unnatural, boring earthquake drill in the face of the planet! We were like, okay whatever! Can you please finish your play drill and get on with life? We have a lecture to attend to! And just when I think a gorgeous guy would come to me and say: would you like to volunteer to be an earthquake victim? And dinner perhaps? POK! That obviously fictional.

But where were the excitement? Fine! All I can say now is that I am VERY disappointed! That was like the most not so helpful earthquake drill ever!

So anyway, aside from being a total bitch at complaining, I am also the queen of all arguments! We won the debate! Our title (I made it myself):

“BEHIND EVERY RAPED VICTIMS, ROBBERIES, KILLINGS AND MURDERIOUS CRIME IS A DRUG ABUSER.”

“So, let’s say NO to giving them a SECOND CHANCE!”

And in case, you haven’t notice it yet, this is a DEBATE TITLE (for the hard core drug abuser). If your to dumb to comprehend, just keep your mouth shut. So anyway, I gave the final word so it’s only natural for us to win… Ahaha! I’m so modest. Just whack me with a huge mallet, ok? There were total of 3 rounds and we scored 2 rounds! Yey! For us!

Anyway, I was like, super happy today because……….. I just beat myself in the high score of bowling in my cell phone. That was pretty low, I know. Don’t need to elaborate, ok?



p.s. upcoming template, at about next month? Too busy to work it out.

I've been busy this past few days. I've been battling this incurable phlegm that I got! Ahaha! Seriously, I've been coughing like thunder! Well, kidding aside, I am really really busy. Busy with life and my upcoming new template!

I know, I know, it's like the hundreth time (actually just 4th time) I have changed my template. But so what? This is my blog and I can do whatever I want with it. I can even delete it for all you know! But why would I wanna do that? Huh? HUh?

Well anyway, I come up with this observation that the sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" has ALL the english alphabet in it! Yes! All! So did you checked it? I bet you did.

But why settle for a boring lazy dog and a quick brown fox? Let me make it:

"The QUICK FOXXY white lady jumps over the BIG and CRAZY dog."

Now it's more exciting! It makes you think now...

Tee hee, I'm so istupida!

So anyway, watch out for my new blog and new blog look! Coz' if you don't... then you don't! DUH?! Could it get any simplier than that?

Well, whatever!

Ciao!

Green Fairytale

One upon a time there was a simple girl who thought of silly things. She was just unnoticeable to people who she wanted to get attention and a friend to unimportant persons. Her status in the society was a plain unnoticeable little girl who craves for attention. She was an outcast to her kingdom. A peasant who people care less. It’s not like she remained invisible but the fact that people don’t really noticed her seemed like it. She wanted everybody to be her friend. But the more she tried to please everyone the more they stayed away from her. How come she made friends with the people she don’t want to befriend? Like the butler at the orange street who looked at her boobs with pure lust. The little kid who ate rats. And the old lady that had false teeth straight from the sewer. She was depressed and frustrated. She wanted royalties to be her friends. Oh! A social climber she is!

The constant whining and ranting inside made her feel like she was gonna explode. So she had decided. “I’m going to run away or walk away or whatever it is you called going away from home without proper permission”, she declared at the little birds on her window made of straw (such a poor girl) flying around her head. It’s not like she’s really going to run but carriages are to expensive for her. Air planes aren’t invented at that time. And she didn’t have tickets to any ships. She didn’t have a rich boyfriend or a sugar daddy for that matter. She had to get away somehow but how. She decided to think it over, over a hill that was covered with four leaf clovers and dandelions dancing in the air. Out of the blue, because of the air or maybe the atmosphere that was so sentimenting (was there such word?) she started singing Because of You by Lady Kelly Clarkson. As she felt and sang the song with all her heart the wind blew stronger and stronger and stronger. She stopped. She felt like God had heard her prayers.

The wind blew so strong that she was carried away by the wind to a spa center. Her clothes were also carried away by the wind and a fugly old hag got hold of it. The fugly old hag thanked “you-know-who” for hearing her chants. The hag was clothe less for years. Young hunky warriors were scared away by her wrinkled body. So anyway, back to the girl. She landed inside a room that was dimly lighted. There was a naked man and a woman massaging each other. Ooohh! Her eyes! She suddenly felt in love with the man. The handsome guy with jet black hair and deep set of eyes. His face radiating like the shining moon at midnight. And his body sculptured by the greatest man in the land. She hid herself, fearing that she might be seen by the woman and pull her hair until her scalp bleeds. The woman whispered something to the man and went out of the room. She grabbed the…………………………………. oppurtunity to speak with the handsome man. The man was stunned to see her. “Oh! What fugly peasant!” he exclaimed and stared at her dirty body. Oh! Shit! The girl forgot about her appearance and ran away. She hadn’t plucked her armpit, it was darn hairy.

Three months had passed (btw, the man was the king of Saxtuplet Kingdom), the ragged girl was now working at the town baker. She was now well groomed and well liked by everybody. Because every time she sings the wind will blow strong and drive the heat away. Now, people in the kingdom don’t have to walk naked on the streets because of extreme heat. She discovered her hidden talent. Anyway, the king heard about this and was enraged. The people in his kingdom were decent again and he didn’t liked it one bit. No girls to choose from to be her mistress. No woman hunting! The queen was green with jealousy so she was so glad that she again solo her man’s eyes. But the queen was freaking old! She was ten years older than the king so it’s natural that the king will look for a younger mistress. (well duh?) So anyway, the queen summoned the girl and rewarded her with many glorious gifts. The girl was so happy to find out that the man she saw at the spa center was the same man as the king. King was shocked when she recognized the girl, but heck! He felt madly deeply in love when he saw her with a clean appearance and a shaved under arm. Queen didn’t noticed it of course.

She asked the queen if she could spent one day with the king. She said that it was pure business. The queen, being innocent and all granted her request.

The girl then went to the most extravagant boutique and bought the sexiest gown in the history of fairy tales. But alas! Her triple gold credit card was denied and was cut in two in front of her. “Not enough funds?! How come?” she asked. The girl chewing a gum at the counter told her the price of the gown and it was a freaking $400,000,000.90 !!!!!!!!!!!! Oh! Shit Mother of fugliness! She couldn’t even afford a wee Prada bag and now this?! She escaped with the gown on. The securities started chasing after her, which composed of three-fat-donut-eating-human-guards, five rottweilers and two parrots for alarm. She was out of breath when she thought of singing and she sang Paris Hilton’s Stars are Blind. Yes! Misery luck! The securities was carried away by the wind to the fugly old hag’s cottage. “Ohh!” said the fugly old hag upon seeing her visitors… Delicious. They tried to escape but they had no match for the fugly old hag’s power and was defeated. She skinned the rottweilers alive and cooked them and dined with the fat-donut-eating-human-guards. She then put a petrification spell at the parrots and displayed them at her bathroom so every time she bathe and take all her clothes off someone will be force to watch her wrinkled body do the shower thingy. Then she hypnotized the three fat-donut-eating-human-guards and made them her servants. One became her bed, because the fatness was enough for her to be her bed! You don’t wanna know what happened to the other two fat-donut-eating-human-guards…

Back to the girl, she arrived at the castle of Saxtuplet kingdom with style! She rode a dashing carriage with six white stallions (actually she just carriage jack it). The visitors saw her arrival and was very impressed. She stepped out of the carriage but she tripped. She stand up with full dignity (it’s not like she have one) and faced the whole world with confidence (yeah right). Little did she knew that her sexy gown was torn at the back (you know, with the running and everything), showing half of her ass for the whole world to see. So she entered the castle. Everybody staring at her arse. She mingled with everyone and got the number of the most eligible men in the kingdom. After the dance and all, she solo the king at the garden full of blossoming daffodils and they made love. Yes people, the girl was pretty fast, wasn’t she? So they DID IT till the sun rises to the kingdom of Saxtuplet. What happened to the queen? Well, she ran off with another man, much younger and richer than the king of course. The girl and the king lived happily ever after…. But not quite.

The doctors at the castle discovered that the king had HIV virus and soon after that the king died while washing his ass after he shit at the royal toilet bowl.

Upon hearing the news, the girl oozes blood from her eyes and died on the spot.

The queen and her new husband regained the castle and they lived happily ever after (with the fugly old hag as their regent).

THE END!

~~~~~~~~~~

Phew! I could not type no more!

Hope you guys like IT!

Ahaha! I’m such a whacko!

Muahahaha!!!!! Well I’m off to do my Chemistry report now!

Tata!

Mucus

Warning: If you happen to be eating, drinking or simply staring at any food picture. I suggest you don’t read this. This is a very disgusting blog entry. But what the heck?! Read anyway.



~~~~~~~~~~

Woke up this morning with a big yawn. I glanced at my cell phone’s time and it’s already 6:06! Wah! I’m late for my first class and it starts at 7! So I hurried up but I can’t seem to choose what pants to wear. Is it the faded jeans or the beige one?



I, like, so panic. I settled for the faded jeans because my panties’ lines were visible at my beige pants. I don’t want any morons staring at my behind and thinking, like, “ohhh… she hadn’t heard of t-backs”. So there, the start of my day. I was absent for my first class coz’ I arrived at about 7:56. I nearly cursed everybody why I’m late. I cursed the driver for being so damn slow. He could overtake the bus. But NOOO, he decided to be a nice driver and obeyed the traffic rules. Who cares?! Who cared?! Wah! I’m so damn pissed of. I cursed the beige pants for being so soft yet so ass hugging. I cursed the socks I can’t find and that hiding notebook of mine. I can’t seem to find it with all these mess!



But the real culprit was…. my ferociously green uhog, erm… I mean, I have a cold. I sneezed sneezed all night until all my phlegm were tired of going in and out of my nose, until my nose bled and until my mom cannot take it anymore and slept outside. Phew! I slept for about nearly 5 hours and my eye bugs were so swollen and I have to wake up… LATE! I am sick people, literally. I had a headache during our trigonometry class. I dunno where the headache was coming from. Is it because of my cold? Or because I could not understand a single word my prof. was saying. Or maybe my headache was from the three gallons of mineral water I carried last night. The last one was really inappropriate, I just wanted to show off. Really.



Bah! The darn debate was cancelled AGAIN! Cancel, cancel, always cancel! Wah! I hate you!

Anyway, out if my out burst, out rage and any out thing of emotion I felt today. I was a little happy to know that we don’t have Values Education for this week. The subject’s damn boring man. And it’s like a game of not-get-caught-of-yawning-whenever-my-prof-started–teaching. It’s so darn boring, and not to mention sleepy. I know it’s kinda mean.

I was like a sneezing parrot inside the class room. All I did was sneezed, sneezed and SNEEZED. I got different kinds of sneezes. I have the silent or a.k.a. the shy one, a very loud sneeze and a surprised sneeze. Well, I brought a roll of tissue paper but I was already out of tissue paper before noon. So I settled for my hanky. YUCK! I sneezed at my hanky, seeing the visible green phlegm and I saw the scene when I will someday hand wash that same hanky…. You get the picture, right? So, like, do I have to elaborate that it is so gross and disgusting to the bones. Anyway, I was like sleepy and hungry all day. And I dunno what to do first. To eat or to sleep. But what the heck? I ate anyway with my friend. And that same friend kept on telling me to stay away from her. She said she didn’t want to get any virus, especially from me. Freak! My virus is 40% greater than yours. Oh! What am I saying? Anyway, I got home at lunch time but I already ate so I guess I’ll sleep. But I changed my mind when I saw this.



Not funny Benjie. Hey! Maybe you’re the one who passed that virus to me!!! Check his nose! Oh man!

Next Best Thing

Fly to reach the sky.

Soar high. But why do the impossible if you could just look and reach down? Simply touch it. It’s still the sky.

People. Fake. And All.

Ever wonder why people act the way they are? Some people are nice at you, while some are not. Some pretends to be nice. Some people are nice at you just for the sake of being nice. While some just act nice so that you’ll be nice at them. There are so many different kinds people around you and so many different reasons why they act that way. Sometimes, I felt like I don’t belong. I know this is just another rant but let me say this one more time. I can take self doubt to a level that even people around me will start doubting themselves. I know, I sound pathetic again. This is how I feel today so don’t try to interfere.

I don’t try to vent because it’s just not like me. I don’t escape at problems and unbearable self doubt. I pretend. I act. And that’s just the way I handle things. I am real but also fake. I can be really unpredictable, but this isn’t about me. This is about other people. People who are neither real nor fake. People in between. People who act just for the sake of being accepted. People who are like me but unlike me. In my past post, How I Hide Self Doubt, I act because I hide my insecurities and worst feelings. But this people, pretend so that they won’t look bad at other people. I hate those kind of people. I hate them to the core. They make the world seem like a pretty little box wrap up in a pretty wrapping paper.

Flowers and butterflies. Don’t give me that shit. I saw the worst kind of moth and I prefer them than any fantastic butterfly. I prefer a real live moth than a butterfly made of plastic.

To hell with social skills if you kept on faking it. At least I fake it with a kind of dignity in the air. I want to keep the real me only for myself. I hate it but I don’t despise it so much. This people are the worst kind of people, I guess I’m talking about everybody here. And when I say everybody that also includes me and you. I hate the world and everything that’s in it. I won’t hate it if the world is perfect. But let’s give perfection to God.

Like I said, people who “plastics” me are hateful. But people who plastic me who are obviously obscenely obvious that they are plasticing me are even more hateful. I despise them. I hate them to the core. It’s like comparing a sore fruit to a sore smile. It’s a fake genuine affection and trust. How could you fake a genuine affection? That is if your not good at acting not showing it. There is no such thing as real trust among friends, so how could you trust people who are obviously faking it? I can’t even trust myself.

Why the heck am I writing this now? I should be slapping people and going around telling them not to talk to me anymore. Because I hate them to the core. But then again, here goes the saying “No man is an island”. Oh! Fuck that island. I am a small rock in (not at) the middle of the ocean.

I am going nowhere and I detest it…

Crazy Little Big Dudes

This is my little, big nephew Legrix! He's planning to join the Wade Robson Project... No kidding!

Isn't he the cutest?

Oh! And sorry for the lousy video view/contrast, it's from my cell phone anyway. Don't forget to rate it at youtube!

Pls. support him... he's really joining the Wade Robson Project! Hehehehe....

The voice in the back ground was little, big Mylene... She's going to join the Philippine Idol. SO... support them, coz' I ain't gonna support them! What do you want? Havoc on earth?!

Cascading Ideas #2

A little bird was flying in the winter. The bird froze and fell to the ground. A cow came by and dropped some dung on it. The bird realized how warm it was and began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and dug him out and ate the bird.

Moral of the story?

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When your in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

Am I making any sense? Someone just texted me this message. And as I was reading it, I wasn’t aware that I was nodding my head. I completely agreed. I just thought that someday I might follow this rule…

~~~~~~~~~~

Technology today is so amazing. Do you know that a certain man developed a device that helps blind people to navigate freely? Yep! It’s inspired by bats. It uses sonar. Bats are blind but they can still catch food and do things, so why not blind humans?! If a deaf person has a hearing aid, so can a blind person has a seeing aid! It’s already in use by a blind person and it helps him a lot, but it’s still being develop to be able to recognize faces. Amazing, right?

~~~~~~~~~~

September, a "BER" month! My god father’s already playing Christmas songs! I can already feel the spirit of Christmas with these songs!!!

September! My mom’s birthday is on the 25th… I always treat her on a restaurant during her birthday. That became sort of a tradition to me and my mom. Ahaha… I have to shed out some money again, but it’s worth it, so it’s OK.

~~~~~~~~~~~

I just found out last night that Kim, my cousin, is terrified of small frogs… Hahaha! You make me laugh Kim…







So am I, Kim. So am I.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Who cares about BIG BROTHER?! It’s too stupid and way too lousy to be a reality show. Why are they still franchising that crap to other countries?

Huh? Huh? Why?!

I mean, it’s too controversial and too boring at the same time…

Those two elements don’t pair!!! And it’s lame.

I can’t believe I am blogging about this…

~~~~~~~~~~

The sky just fell on me when I remembered I haven’t eaten my breakfast yet. My stomach’s grumbling. So I’m off to the kitchen!

I’ll blog something interesting next time when my mind is functioning well… All I could think of is food and Big Brother…

I Am Smeagoled...

After years (actually just hours), of figuring how to win the debate… It was ultimately post pone due to irregular disturbances. Like MY PROFESSOR didn’t showed up in class today!

I have a debate to win and a symposium to make. I have to memorize a situational dialogue and to research my homework…. I HAVE NO REST! I even wonder how I manage to maintain this blog…

Just a couple of days ago I was like this:



Begging to have something to do. Because I was darn bored!


Now I am THIS:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Over work, under love and so much stress.


Bling bling. Oh! The irony! -_-

Cascading Ideas #1

Benjie's not available at the moment. He's in the hospital recovering from broken bones and a smashed skull. That's what he gets from entering my room, and meddling with my computer and my blog. He swore NOT TO EVER AGAIN touch my things. That's one traumatic experience for a "gorgeous" dog who can type.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dammit! Tomorrow's the debate... The question is: Will we give drug abusers a second chance? (in every aspect)

and guess what? We have to defend the NO side. No 2nd chance for drug abusers! This is pretty challenging, I have to reserve all my wits for tomorrow's debate. I wonder if we'll win... I guess I have to be ready, better start researching now. It's such a hassle. So people! If you happen to know any murderous or revolting incident that involves drug abusers, don't be shy to comment or e-mail me. I need the info now. Any additional information is considered helpful.

I don't believe this, I sound overly pathetic for asking someone that kind of favor.

~~~~~~~~~~

Of all horror! Sept. 11-15 are the dates for our school intramurals. I have to take my Teakwondo training seriously. Because if I don't, I'll be a sitting duck at the actual fight...

~~~~~~~~~~

Yey! Photobucket, it work like magic! I'm so glad I have one.

~~~~~~~~~~

London Bridge is falling down
falling down
falling down.

London Bridge is falling down
My fair lady.

What the heck is wrong with you people? Teaching that kind of nursery rhyme to children. Actually, it's morbid. What happens if London Bridge actually fall down?

Come to think of it. Rock A Bye Baby is one morbid nursery rhyme too. So... what happened to the baby?

I Can Bark...

Hello. I am Benjie and I have taken over this blog. Vhessa is non existent and I am more smarter than her. In reality, my master’s at school and I had snuck in her room. What would a gorgeous dog like me do in a girl’s room? Turn the computer on and drool on the key board, of course! I have been abused, so here’s my revenge. Human beings, bear with me, THEY gave me a bath!

I like to talk about myself and only myself, I don’t care about you. I don’t have Garfield’s attitude and I’m not like him. He is a shame to the animal kingdom. I am 100% purely lazy while he’s only 95% lazy. I’m not Spike either, I am 100% friendly to cats, I even eat with them. The most supreme being I know is Courage the Cowardly Dog, and if you don’t know him then your not important. I worship Courage and why not? He is a pink dog (PINK) with spots and a hole in his front tooth who lives in the middle of nowhere. Oh! Praise be to you Courage! Having a kind, stupid old lady Muriel and grumpy, greedy Eustace as his masters. He is loyal like me and courageously brilliant like me. I don’t talk about other animals, except if I’m comparing to them (I am better, of course).

About my master, Vhessa. She calls me a rat behind my back since my birth. I am not really a rat, I am a gorgeous dog. And I want to be FAMOUS! I was just a puppy in a basket when the darling little me came into their lives. My master’s mother wouldn’t let me out of the house because of the fear that cats might mistook me for a rat and eat me. I admit, I looked like a black cotton-like crawling creature, who is in fact look like a rat. But I’ve changed. I am a real life ugly duckling story. I am now a gorgeous dog, so no rat thing from now on.


Don't you find me gorgeous?

I never had a girlfriend, because I am stuck in my master’s house. Although I can only set my foot on the terrace, it’s still part of the house. I rarely see the outside world, and when I did, I ran around the block until I find a spot to poof. I tried flirting with a Labrador before, turned out she is a HE. I got an enormous bite from him because I smelled his ass. From that day on, I promised never to flirt to a dog ever again. I have two buddies. Bansot, a very smelly and short dog and King (may his soul rest in peace), a ferocious eating dog (he eats anything).

My master’s friends adore me. In fact, I have an ex girlfriend among my master’s circle of friends (identity left hidden). I hate it if they ask what breed I am. Because I don’t know! Who cares about breed anyway? I know a Rottweiler once, and let me tell you, his breed suck big time. I bet his breed’s name was derived from a rotting whiner.

Anyway, I have a brother! Although we don’t personally know each other. But from my distant memory, I think we used to play wrestling back when were just puppies. His name is Muymoy or I think it’s Muymuy….

Anyway, my official dream is to became white someday like my brother. So I could see myself in the dark. I am turning 6 this October 31, right before Halloween.

I am black and I am gorgeous. More about me at my own spot in the blog (at the sidebar). I played with my master's template... She might get me for this... I don't care, at least I'm a clever dog.

Oh! And just in case you haven’t notice yet, I am addicted to my pictures. Unlike Xiaxue, I only want MY SOLO photos, I don’t want anybody extra –ing with me in my pictures. And I don't want to post too many pictures.

Stupid Dream! It Made Me Feel Very Stupid!

Dreams are really really weird! This morning I woke up scratching my head… Here’s what I dreamt last night.

I was walking at the hall way in our college building with Cristina (my friend). Then suddenly instead of walking normally, I begun to accelerate walking, as if I’m racing against her (but she did not). Then I saw the last room on the 4th floor of our building, but instead of a room, there were two big pipes of water at the end of the hall way. Now, where did that came from? One pipe was broken and I tried to cover the rushing water with my bare hands. I never got wet but Cristina did! She was not even close at the pipes. She was shouting at me, stopping me from covering the pipe because she was getting wet!

*scene shifted at the science class room at 3rd floor (funny because were still on the 4th floor!!!) (morning)

My professor left the room and asked me to take over! (Weeee!) I sat at the teacher’s desk and looked at the laptop at the desk. To my surprise, it was MY laptop… I tried opening it but my classmates were too noisy, it won’t open! I think it’s kinda shy (what the heck?!). My noisy classmates who were running around the room like little kids suddenly sat down on their chairs and organized themselves. Awww!

I tried to opening my laptop again and it worked! Then my laptop began playing a horror movie (by itself)… I saw creepy trees and zombies coming towards me, then I saw my classmates acting like zombies. I was still sitting at our teacher’s desk and I was shutting the computer off. I was in a panic when Cristina told me to escape. I was waiting for my laptop to shut off, it was expensive I can’t leave it like that (geez, it’s just a dream, leave it and run!). But because I’m stubborn and can’t leave my laptop behind, I ended up running with my laptop on my both hands, still open.

*as expected, scene shifted at our house (night, because it was dark)

Ahhh! Home sweet home. Cristina was still there. I was trying to ditch her but it won’t work. My mom welcomed us, but I noticed there was something odd about her. I looked at her and I saw a devilish grin. I don’t know how, but I figured out that she may look like my mom but she was not my real mom. I mean, she’s pretending to be my mom, but she’s really an evil person, got it? But who the heck would wanna pretend to be my mom? Who? Who?! (this is getting weirder)

I looked at Cristina, giving her a sign that my mom isn’t really mom. But the dumbest of the dumbest, she didn’t get it. I tried to act normal so she wouldn’t noticed that I already knew about her evil scheme. But MOM kept on insisting that Cristina will spent the night at our house. Cristina nodded like an obedient little girl. When the fake mom were out of sight, I talked to Cristina about what I discovered quickly. I think she understood…. I immediately got her bag and I emptied it. Then I filled it with lots of KFC and gravy from our refrigerator. The woman who look like my mom, who was also pretending to be my mom (these is getting confusing) saw me and I ran with Cristina as fast as we could to escape her. I saw my dog begging to take him with us. But being the heartless person I am, I left him with my pretend mom.

When we reached Petron, the gasoline station near our school, the bag with lots of KFC and gravy were empty. I was a complete moron when I forgot to close the bag. Cristina blamed me and said that we’ll die of hunger. Then she suggested that we rob the gas station’s snack place or something to get food. I said no. (awww… I’m so kind, in my dream)

*scene shifted to our college building’s 1st floor… (afternoon, I think)

We were on the foot of the stairs when a teacher commanded us to go all the way up to 4th floor. There were several students with us and we all went to 4th floor. But the 4th floor seemed more of a 7th floor! When we reached it, another teacher ordered us to go back to all the way to 1st floor!!! We complained while going down the stairs. When we reached our destination the teacher asked us if we counted our steps! Cristina said to me that it was 336, but I answered it was 330 steps. The teacher told us that whatever number of steps we counted, it didn’t matter! And he also told us that if we looked at the bulletin board the number we counted corresponds to our destined one. The other students repeated the whole process because they didn’t count the steps. Funny, because I didn’t count it, it just came in my mind!

On the bulletin board, we looked up for number 330 but the name was all jumbled. But their was a voice that was in my back. He whispered that he was the one I’ve been waiting for. I turned to look around and it was…….



My












DOG! BENJIE! For goodness sake! Why my dog??!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS HE DOING AT MY SCHOOL? My destined one?!!! Yikes! Is he on a revenge or something?

Just as I was going to confront him, my mom yelled at me. It’s what she does every morning to wake me up. I woke up and I scratched my head…

Ok, let’s take a recap.

Broken pipes,

Wet friend,

Freaky laptop,

Zombie classmates,

Fake evil mom,

KFC,

Stairs,

The number 330,

And my dog, claiming that he’s my destined one.

Nonetheless, I really woke up scratching my head….

You must be wondering how I remembered all of this, I don’t know but as I was dreaming I kept reminding myself that I got to remember this and it worked!

The Problem With Distance...

My best friend was the only person I could never be.

She’s going away again. Another country, another school. My best friend travel from place to place with her family. I thought she was going to stay here for good, I was wrong. The first time she left the country was when we finished elementary. I was so sad thinking that distance will kill our friendship. Later on, I got used to it. Taking a vacation every now and then and meeting up every year wasn’t so bad.

We grew up together in the same community. She was my first friend and my only best friend. We are cousins, that’s why it isn’t hard to trust each other. But she’s so different now, the outside was completely changed. I remembered the first time she visited us from Brunei, she was a total stranger to me. I guess, I was shocked. I was in 1st year high school (grade 7), and the pretty girl who was standing in front of me was wearing a pair of faded jeans and a back less top. She had so many accessories. We were complete opposite. I became aloof at her, it was ugly. I never talked to her, and I only smiled at her whenever our eyes met. Then she left the country again for another year. I felt her disappointment, guess she was upset about it. We exchanged a lot of letters. I guess, I could only talked to her when she’s not in front of me. I mean, not personally. I thought about it, why wouldn’t I talk to her? She’s still the same girl I know. Her attitude’s the same, she’s still kind and understanding. I guess I was just surprised with her transformation. I thought about it, I felt ashamed. I was ashamed at how I acted and reacted. I was ashamed because I became a complete idiot. I was ashamed at myself for rejecting my only best friend.

Last year she came back.

We regained the friendship that was beginning to fade. But wait, it wasn’t fading. I was wrong thinking that it was fading. She never forgot me. I was never forgotten and I was happy about it. She took her college entrance exam here. Their wealthy, so prestigious universities aren’t any problem. Plus, my best friend’s intelligent, so entrance exam isn’t a thing to worry about. She took her entrance exams at well known universities and she passed all of that exams. I was so proud of her. But the unexpected happened again. Just as she was finishing the first semester, her father got transferred to another country. He was bringing the whole family with him again. It makes me sad but it’s for the best.

She was going away again. I’m going to miss the fun time we spent at the arcade, the window shopping with her, the ice creams and the videoke (karaoke). I’m going to miss her (love) stories and her sometimes curly, sometimes straight hair. But most of all, I’m going to miss her.

Well, advance happy 18th birthday girl! That’s for November… the same month she’s going to leave.

It Was My Mind, Not My Heart...

I totally fooled my English Professor.

Yesterday, my professor in English checked our assignment orally. It’s not just any assignment. It was something interesting to the creative ones. And a hassle to the people who failed to improve their imagination. You see, my professor is a linguist and a bilingual. She was the first professor to teach Interactive English to the whole university so you shouldn’t take her assignments lightly. She’s just wonderful. But yesterday, was something I didn’t expected yet expected at the same time. Maybe deep inside I really expected for it to happen.

The assignment she gave us was to write a poem. But not just any poem, but a poem that will continue her poem in the book she had written herself. It was a challenge for me, for I was not exactly a person who is fond of poems. Sure, I wrote a couple of short stories and novels, but a poem? Rarely. I started to think negative things, like how I hard it is to follow a rhyme scheme and all. And besides, I love writing tragic things, although it doesn’t necessarily reflect my life and principle.

The poem my professor wrote in her book was about a girl named Ana Ruiz. She stole five loaves of bread and now she’s in front of the judge. She reasoned that the reason why she stole five loaves of bread was because of poverty. Her father’s dead and her mother’s sick in bed. Her younger siblings was asking for food with eyes full of tears. She was only 17 years old and she was caught stealing by the town baker. The poem was entitled “Five Loaves of Bread”.

The objective was to continue the poem in 4 lines and 3 stanzas. It was supposed to be 6 stanzas, but our professor underestimated us and assigned only 3 stanzas. That was insulting. 3 stanzas aren’t enough to express a narrative poem. Anyway, the last line was “What could I do to save them from death?”

Here’s what follows (from me):

What could I do to save them from death?
When these misfortunes keep coming with dept
I have not chosen to die and wept
But rather to fight, not vent.

The sinful action I have done
Was not the rightful standard of man
But I stand here in front of God
Wishing for justice out so loud

My life’s in pain and my soul’s on hold
But there’s one thing that have to be told
I accepted death as it accepted my blood
But I won’t let my family die in cold.

When my professor read this, she spoke to the class before reading it aloud. She said that sometimes our writing reflect our principles in life although it maybe subconscious. She looked at me sincerely but I looked back at her with blank expression. I always know that I am her favorite student in the class. I am the only person she know in the class without looking at her record. I always leave a good impression to my english professors. But yesterday was different. I was half disappointed at her.

Then she read it aloud to the class and told the class that it was a well constructed poem and a strong one. It was good that was what she had said. But I know that she was also astounded at that time. My poem fooled her. She truly believed that it was me speaking in the poem, that it reflect my principles in life. That I might do sinful things someday just to get what I want. But what she failed to see was how I fooled her, how I made her ridiculously wrong. That was not like me, not like me at all.

Her poor judgment was an evidence that I could be a great writer someday. Or maybe she just didn’t fully understand that I write to pull out emotions from people. Emotions that will make them think and feel loneliness inside. Well, I guess I reached my objective.

Oh yes, I did fooled a linguist.

Damn it! I AM (semi?) ABNORMAL!!!

You Are 52% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul. You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

REACTION?

Hahahahahahahahahaa!!!! Wrong! I AM 55% Abnormal!!!!!

Quiz from How Abnormal Are You?

Monster!!!

Am I even human?

After Taekwondo practice (noon), I SERIUOSLY ate:

1 fried chicken legs with rice and gravy
Extra rice and extra gravy
Corn and carrots
Some fruit salad

After 30 minutes, here’s the list of what I’ve ate:

Creamy macaroni soup
Watermelon seeds
M and m’s chocolate with nuts

3 hours later, I ate these:

Rice and Vienna sausage (whole can)
Hamburger with mushroom and cheese
Reese’s Milk Chocolate
Fita Biscuits


What the heck is deliciously wrong with me? Am I even human?! I think I maybe suffering from over-eating-while-not-getting-fat syndrome. Oh! how friends envy me, but I seriously need to cut off my over eating. I’m broke because of those lovely in-between snacks… I guess, 5 meals a day really have it’s down fall… My mom kept asking where I store the food that I’ve eaten… Well, my metabolism stinks! After 5 minutes, the food was completely digested and I kept eating some more.

I’ve been raiding our fridge, and to my delight I found some chocolates there! My mom told me that they were from our relatives who just came back from the U.S.

Last time, the chocolates were from Brunei (or I think it were from Malaysia) and Hong Kong. My relatives from other countries never forget to brought back lots of chocolates for me when they come back!!! I so love them!

Chocolates are way better than a hair cut. Chocolates never pull my hair while blow drying it! And speaking of hair cut, I think I have to get one soon. My hair is overly dry and to my horror I found split ends (again). I hate having split ends. At least I don’t have any kuto (lice). The hair stylist who cut my hair the last time was horrible. She kept pulling my hair and kept adjusting my head. It fucking hurt!

I was irritated. And before she proceeded, she asked me how long will she be cutting off. So I replied, below ears, showing her the length. I have a short hair. Then she said, “OMG! You have split ends.” The people at the hair salon looked at us. It was damn embarrassing. Then while she was beginning to cut my lovely-splitted hair, she adjusted my head. It was OK for the first time she done that. She looked dissatisfied, she adjusted it again… OK for me. Still dissatisfied, she adjusted it again… NOT OK! My head hurt and what did she thought of me? A practice head mannequin?

Then she sprayed water on my hair, spraying some water on my face. I was keeping my temper, because there were people. Then she cut me hair, some pulling here and some pulling there. And let me tell you, it hurts! I even thought she was going to cut my ear…

Then she blowed dry my hair. That was the most horrendous blow dry experience ever. She was blowing drying my hair while talking to her fellow stylist. Resulting to: Also blow drying me ears! The hot air entered my ears and I felt pain. She repeatedly done that. I was going to shout at her when a former classmate entered the freaking-hurt-me salon and recognized me. Of course, I stayed calm because somebody I know was also in there.

After the torture session, I mean the hair cut was over, I paid at the counter. I was kind enough to gave a tip to that dreadful stylist and I even smiled at her as she said “Thank you”. Thank you my foot!

I think that traumatic experience kept me from going to a hair salon. But I have to go now, my hair a have annoying split ends! Although my split ends are not that terrible, I still need to have a hair cut! But one thing for sure, I’m not going back to that evil hair salon again.

Back to where was I, oh! and the hamburger’s delicious!

I Am Happy and Full!

Happy Fiesta!

Yesterday was our town fiesta, and it was a very exciting day! I was so happy because there were lots of food and my mom cooked spaghetti. Just to inform you, my mom’s spaghetti is the best. I’m not telling this because I’m her daughter, but because that’s the truth. My friends would always asked for more of my mom’s spaghetti whenever she cooked it. Her secret recipe is…. I won’t tell you!

Anyways, my mom let me invite some of my friends for dinner, with an overflowing maximum number of two friends…. Hahaha!!! So I invited Hazel, who’s currently taking nursing (course) and Cristina, my classmate-friend.

Cristina came first before Hazel, so naturally… she ate, erm... I mean tasted all the dish that was on the table. When Hazel came, it was six o’clock. After she ate, we reminisced the old times, our high school life. Cristina didn’t attend the same high school, so we have to tell her about the boys and experiences in our campus. They were all laughing as I re-enact the scene from our school clinic, that was damn hilarious! After that, some picture taking and some great music.

They went home at nine P.M. Well, I texted them if they already reached home. Because it was night and their girls, thank God that they reached home safely… Actually, Cristina was planning to victimize some (good-looking) boys before going home… good thing she never did it!!! A girl can dream you know!

How I Hide Self Doubt...

This is the real me.

Life usually starts when you can think on and for your own. When you can decide what to eat and what kind of clothes to wear. When you can reason reasonably. Some basic aspects that leads to deeper sense of knowing. If that is the case, I don’t know if my life already started…

Sure, I am breathing and my logic capabilities are remarkable. My brain and other organs that keep me going for all my life are functioning well. I am made that way and raised that way. I have a life, I am moving, I am advancing in my life, but I’m in self doubt if it already started. I am confuse. I guess, every person came into this stage in life. Where self doubt usually and repeatedly occurs. When I say repeatedly, one time it’s gone and suddenly it comes back. The feeling getting stronger each time I fought against it and won. But it always comes back, meaner and stronger than it used to be, than it could ever be. I never did overcome it. Therefore, I am doubting if this is normal for an average person to have self doubt for almost 17 years in her life. Funny, because everyday I asked myself: Am I normal? Is this normal? But I know that I am not average.

Forget self doubt. That is an irritation for me that I have been fighting to get out of my system for years now. Maybe I sound pathetic now, maybe I don’t. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t lack self confidence. I am full of it. At least that is what I tell myself and show others to hide my true self. I keep believing and lying over and over again to hide my shame and misery for the simple reason that I doubt myself. They, people around me put their trust on me, as if I am the only person that has the ability to control and manipulate things. I proudly accept this obligation not for luxury of impressing others and myself but to deny that I am in fact doubting myself. Of course, other people don’t know this, and I sometimes forget that I know that. This and that, well, I am sometimes shaken by the fact that I fool others but there is no fool than fooling yourself. I maybe a fool, but I am a fool that is in the child’s mind. That is a convenient excuse. So simple yet so complicated. I don’t know if I’m mature enough to admit that I am just playing pretend with my friends and classmates. I am playing to be the great heroine in the story but the truth is, I am just a normal cast in the story, that was not given a major role. I blame destiny, I blame faith and I blame everything. The truth is, I only blame myself for that. I am merely wearing a mask that I am not proud to wear.

I grew up to have a happy and comfortable childhood. I don’t have siblings, maybe that is the reason why I’m so selfish, so self centered. When I say comfortable childhood, I don’t mean to be living in a wealthy life. It is not like that. Were not rich. I’m not ashamed of that. But when I was a child, thinking that the world revolves around me, I always envy my cousins for being rich. I was green with jealousy. I wanted to have toys as expensive as what they have. But I never mentioned that to my parents or to anyone else. I don’t want to disappoint them. But there’s one point in my life that I thought of stealing the latest Barbie dolls that they have. I never did it. Were not poor either. I have a vast collection of stuff toys and Barbie dolls. My toys were from Korea, where my dad used to work. We are eating three times a day and sometimes when luxury can be afforded, we shower ourselves with material things.

At a young age, I never blame my parents. They are my only family, my guidance and my protectors. I love them. I always feel safe when their around. As I have said before, we are not rich. Although, I have a comfortable childhood, not knowing that my parents borrowed money from our relatives for my education. Not knowing that they suffered from shame just to grant me my only defense in life, education. I have a comfortable childhood. When my educational plan closed down and failed my parents, refunding not half the money my parents paid for it, I never really cared. For back then, I was just a child. Not thinking of the consequences and not knowing that it will affect my future. Once again, I had a comfortable childhood.

But now, things that I used to feel evaporated. It’s gone, leaving only few traces that I never seem to feel these days. I am frantically longing for it. I am still care free but I am now aware. Aware of the fact that you’ll never know when things might go wrong again. Self awareness. Such a good word, but that is the reason why I am doubting myself. Others can’t sympathize with me, not even my closest friends and not even my best friend. They have no right. They never and will never know the real me. I am forever hiding in the dark clouds of despair. Seems like acting and pretending is my only fight against this wretched feeling. I will pretend forever. I will always be the smartest person in class. I hate that, but I won’t ever let anyone take that away from me. I’ll feet threatened if someone has ever taken that position from me. Someone already almost did it but I didn't let her succeed. I have a long running image in class. I am trusted and tested. I’m not doing this because I’m insecure but because I’m selfish. I don’t want to reveal my true weakness. Don’t think that I’m pathetic and never feel sorry for me. This is how I look at life. Each of us have a dark side to hide and will hide it by all means. Think of me as just doing the same. Doing the same selfish act.

We are all guilty of the same act so don’t ever try to correct me.

aN aNiMaL cRaZy WoRlD

We humans really take animal cruelty into a whole new level.

Whether intentional or NOT?!
.

.

.

.

.

That is not a good headline for Easter Day.... eek!

Uhh... Wasting his 9 lives? Not a pretty way to kill oneself, Tom.

But
not to worry!

Because

.

.

.

.

.

.

Super Squirrel has come!!!

Hey! Animals aren't the only victims ya know!
THIS IS HUMAN CRUELTY!

studying

.

.

.

and

.

.

.

.

.

applying it

images from Bigoo

A-10-TION!!!!!!

WARNING:

This entry is dedicated entirely and only for my friends. But if you think you'll find pleasure in reading it (even if your not my friend), then go ahead and read it.

These are the things I am willing to do for you guys:

NYAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

(asa!!!)

They Who Disgust Me

There many reasons why I should hate men. But I prefer not to, in respect to decent guys.
But sometimes I wanna squash them. I want to crack open their skulls and step on their brains. There are many things I want to try. I want to put muriatic acid on their pants and spoon their eyeballs. OH YES! I can be very VIOLENT and most of the times I really want to put my plans into action. I can be a frustrated murderer of disgusting guys. But I choose not to. I do respect them, if they respect me. If they respect other girls and if they respect themselves.

They are DISGUSTING! They make me want to vomit all my intestines when I see the greenness of their blood.

They are disgusting. I mean, why should they look a girl with an obvious desire when she’s wearing a skirt. What’s wrong with a skirt?! Goodness, will they put malice to whatever women wear? Sometimes, they even whistle. That is insulting and disgusting. Look at them, that’s why they never get a decent girlfriend is because their not decent themselves. And they even stare at you.

They are DISGUSTING!

Did you see a girl passing by and a man just spit in front of her? I did. That is disgusting. Oh NO, he really done it on purpose.

Sometimes these bunch of losers just wanna have some good time. Argh! But good time is the worst time for everyone. Their lower than -79 I.Q. just wanna have some fun. Okay, have some fun. Laughing and clapping their hands to stranded people because of the flood. Okay have some fun, you look like a bunch of idiots, morons and losers all in one. Oh! And their favorite subjects are nursing students who wears all white uniforms.

They DISGUST me.

NO I’m not being over, I’m simply stating what I witnessed.

NO I’m not being over, I’m simply being disgusted by them.

They should be ashamed that they are carrying the genes that will soon be passed on their future child. Oh NO, another generation of maniacs. If you disagree with me then you are as stupid as them. NO NO, I don’t hate them. I’m not a man hater.

I JUST DON’T RESPECT THEM.

I'm A Spoiled Friend...

...and I love it!

My friends just couldn’t resist my charming-pitiful-cute eyes!

Who couldn’t resist the Vhessa-wehehe power?!

Bwahahahaha!!!!! Oooppsss… sorry… lost my composure there.

Well, ahem!

My latest acting… I mean, sorrowful begging piece:

Me (Vhessa): Bru, I’m so gutom (hungry) na, noh!

Bruha (Cristina): What? Didn’t you have lunch at home? Our first class started at 11.

Me: I have lunch at home, but it was more like a breakfast, noh. I ate at 7am and 9:30am.

(oh and btw, bru, short for bruha, is a hag… hehehe, that’s what I call my friend)

Bruha: Well, sorry ka! I have my baon (snack) here. And speaking of baon, I think I’ll start eating it right now.

Me: How many did you bring?

Bruha: 2 sky flakes biscuits. One for now and the other one for our 3 to 4pm vacant period.

Me: You didn’t bring any for me?

Bruha: Why should I?

Me: You heartless bruha!!! I always bring a snack for you! Like the other time, I gave you a pandesal (bread) with cheez whiz (filling) on it. I brought 3, and how many did you ate?! You ate two! I only ate one! And now your not giving me anything?

Bruha: Hahaha! Excuse me, that was a long time ago, noh! And quit complaining, I haven’t have any lunch. And you know me when I’m hungry, I EAT a lot!!!

Me: And that’s the reason why you keep forgetting your on a diet?

Bruha: Shut up! *munch munch* hmmm…. Delicious!

Me: ……………

After 15 minutes…

Me: Bru, let’s eat.

Bruha: I just ate!

Me: Don’t you think I already know that? But I’m STARVING!

Bruha: Wait till our vacant. You said you already have lunch.

Me: But that was ages ago! And if I wait for our vacant, I’ll be dead by then! And were going to have our midterm exam today. I can’t concentrate with my stomach half empty and half full!

Bruha: But were on the third floor! It’s such a bother going down there to watch you eat.

Me: *looks at her with my eyes sparkling*

Bruha: what?

Me: I’m hungry…

Bruha: I know!

Me: *still looking at her, intensely*

Bruha: OK! OK! Let’s go!

Me: Weeeee!!!!!! *humming a song while going down the stairs*

Bruha: You better eat fast.

Me: Hahaha! I bet your going to drool while your watching me eat!

Bruha: Heh!

And wella! That only proves that good always win against evil!!! Wahaha!

Wait… But were both evil.

????!!!

I ate boneless chicken with fried rice. And, ah, I ate for twenty minutes. I really took my time with some extra rice. I have to load my stomach you know, our last class ends at 5pm!

Hey Guys!

I've started writing my first (serious) novel.It's called "The Guardian's Land".

Hope you like it!

And for those kind-hearted-evil-creatures out there...

Leave a comment, OK?!

see best work/s on the sidebar.

The Pervert And I

There are so many maniacs in the world. Actually, I just bumped into one this morning.

I was hurrying for school coz’ I know that I’m going to be late. So I got inside the jeepney (a public transportation). There were few people so I got into my favorite seat (at the end, far from the driver). The travel was smooth and easy (got no complains about it). But there was this man who was seated next to me. He was practically and obviously squeezing his body into mine. The jeep was not that full or overloaded, so what’s his problem?

I stared at him but it was ineffective. He ignored me and continued what he was doing. Never have I felt so harassed in my whole life before. I was red with anger for this man.

I think he was going for it.

I can’t take it any longer, so I made my move before he can do anything nasty to me. I felt brave because there were other students in the jeep, and I believe that they will back me up if something happened.

So, I pretended that I was looking for something in my bag. And in the blink of an eye my quick and powerful pointed elbow pierced his chest. He let out a moan. Good, his hurt. And the timing was perfect, because the jeep stopped in front of my school. Me and some other students got out. I felt so relief. His just lucky that I didn’t used my Taekwondo moves on him (there was no space).

Then a female student who was on the same jeep, said that she saw the whole thing. And she also said that I did the right thing and I rock on doing it. Thanks, I won’t let anyone do something disgracing to me. Well, I was late for school, an everyday morning drama, but I at least my morning drama was modified a bit… Perverts, sorry but I can defend myself. Next time (I hope there won’t be), I will not only use my elbow, but also my hands, my feet, my fists, my knees and even my head (literally). I didn’t study self defense for nothing.

Dah word "fuck u"

Fuck u, fuck u, fuck u. U say it when your pissed off, when u hate someone, when u strongly disagree with this fucking bitch. But the truth is… fuck u… is just another meaningless word u say when your vocabulary lacks. It’s just another shell u throw at someone to hurt him/her. When you crack it open… it’s empty. It hurts but it’s meaningless… Soooo…… Fuck u, fuck me and fuck everybody!!!

After all, it’s just another (meaningless) word!!!!!

Photogenic

This is the official exam week! Long test, Chapter test, Quiz and Mid term exam for all my subjects! Such a stressful week. I keep telling myself that once this is all over, I’m going to celebrate and drink all I want, I’ll settle for Gatorade. Hahaha!!! I’m feeling insane today after I’ve finished reviewing my 50 pages hand out in Language Development…. So please bear with me, okay?

Anyways, I was looking at my picture taken with my cousins and I was really satisfied. I look not-like-me, not at all. It’s such s a shame that I could not show it here (they don’t want their faces to be shown on the internet), c’mon guys… you are all pretty!!!

It was a studio shot and I really look not-like-me… I’ll explain further.

My cousins told me to have a picture taken with them for remembrance, since they will be leaving Bulacan (my hometown) tomorrow. I said, “why not?”. After all it’s just a picture. What they didn’t tell me was it will take place on a studio! Darn it! I’m so not prepared. After that, I saw the picture and I was so surprised that I really look good in it.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not ugly but I’m not that pretty either. It’s safe to say that I’m average looking. But I DON’T want to be average-looking, I want to be pretty and sophisticated like my cousins. So what? This is how I feel, and you can’t change it. Back to the picture, my cousins told me that I’m photogenic. Flattered? Yes, maybe a little, but I was in deep thought when it hit me. Photogenic. Does that mean I only look good on pictures? It was a compliment but I’ve took it as an insult. I can’t help feeling this way, I’m so insecure. Sure, I have flaws but saying that I’m photogenic, sure point it out. Then time seemed to turn back and my mind traveled back into the past. Back when people also compliment my studio taken pictures. Photogenic, I am photogenic. I only get lousy pictures from my cell phone’s camera. Anyways, back to the past. I was freshly graduated from grade six and I posed for my year book. I had a copy of that picture and my new friends used to tell me that I really look good in it. Since I had different graduation pictures taken from different studios, some were black and white while some were colored, my friends kept on admiring it. “Your so photogenic,” they used to tell me. I smiled in return. Michelle (my friend) even joked that I could trick foreigners on pictures. WTF?! I’m not a slut. I was only twelve at that time. I know it was only a joke but it kept ringing on my mind. My mind went back into the present when my cousins offered to treat me for lunch. Sure! I’ll have my revenge… for the compliment which upsets me a lot… I’ll order as many delicious food as I can.

I’m mixing business with pleasure…

Muahahahaha!!!

The WORST Day Of My Life!!!

What happened to me today:

Morning:

I woke up at 4:00am. I ate a piece of bread, took a shower and went to Taekwondo training.

I was too early for training!

We trained for hours and I was puff! I looked at the clock and it was 7:20am! I was late for my first class!

I went back home to get ready for class. I took a bath and got my books.

TRAFFFFIIICCCC!!!!!

It was 8:30am. I was thirty minutes late so I decided not to attend class, I'll be marked absent anyway.

Noon:

Math exam! I forgot my scientific calculator… didn’t finish the exam because of that stupid square roots.

Square root of 94 without the use of calculator? And so much quadratic and linear formula?

I have no idea.

My prof. wouldn’t let us borrow.

Just as when I was recovering from Math, my English teacher surprised us with a graded recitation! SURPRISE!!!

Afternoon:

I thought my bad luck’s finish… slipped on the wet floor! Just my luck that nobody’s looking! But when I got up, I saw my high school crush trying to control his laughter!!!

I was so embarrass!!!

Going home:

An accident happened on the road (not on me). The traffic was so heavy, I got home… exhausted and hungry.

Night:

I don’t know… Maybe I’ll dream of great, big yucky lizard chasing after me.

Or I found out that my favorite shirt was ruined.

Or I loss all of my hair and nails!!!

How exciting!!! (not)

Now I’m being pessimistic?… I worry too much…

Sibling's Love

Karianne Santos and Matthew Santos are siblings. Karianne, being the eldest always help their parents in attending their small shop. She’s not that fond of her younger brother because of the gap of eight years. She wanted to be the only child and she did not want to share her things with anybody. She was indeed selfish. But since Matthew arrived in their simple life, the joy and attention was always on little Matthew. That made her very jealous…

One day, while she was attending their small shop after school, her best friend came to visit her. “Hey Karianne! Let’s go shopping,” her best friend said. “I can’t. My parents went into the community conference and I’m the only one in the shop… and that brat,” she said sheepishly. “Really? Cute little Matthew’s here?” asked her best friend. “And why don’t you like him? I mean, your already a responsible girl at the age of fourteen. You could do anything except loving your own brother,” she added. “What do you mean? I love my brother, I just don’t like him enough,” she defended. “Okay, whatever you say. But it’s still not right,” her already teary eyed best friend said. She could not find a good reply. So she instead said jokingly, “Get out of here!” And her best friend left her. She was a bit guilty with every word that she said, but her pride got in the way. Matthew was there all the time, observing. Trying to comprehend her sister’s feeling. His young heart couldn’t understand why his sister always give him a cold shoulder treatment. And why his other classmates’ sisters are so considerate and kind to their own brothers. His hands tried to reached her sister’s hand and he muttered, “Karianne? Am I adopted?” Her sister looked at him seriously and she answered a simple yes. She saw the blank expression on her brother’s face. And he ran out of the shop.

“Typical,” she thought. Of course, she was not serious when she said that. She just wanted to bully, no… to scare her own brother. “He’ll just go to the shop next door,” she thought. So she didn’t bother looking. But three hours had passed and his brother still hasn’t come back. So she went to the shop next door but their was no sign of her brother. She called every classmate and friend of his brother but still she failed to find him. She was very nervous. Her mind panics, her heart worries. What if he ran away? What will she do? She went to every place her brother might went, until she gave up of exhaustion. She was crying when she went back into the shop. Her parents already came back and she was afraid to tell them about what had happened. She was trembling and she could not look at her parents’ eyes. Her parents wondered why she was acting that way. She told them what happened with a shaky voice. As she was narrating what happened, the door opened and her brother showed up holding a piece of paper in his hand. He said, “Look sister! My birth certificate. Now, you don’t have to be so tough on me. I’m not adopted!” She ran to hug him and she begged for forgiveness, for all the things that she had done to him all these years. But her brother said that, “Don’t worry. You thought that I’m adopted that’s why you don’t like me. Now we could be real siblings. You can love me and like me.” How could she be selfish to this innocent soul? Her parents looked at them and they smiled… Karianne couldn’t believe that her little brother went all the way to their family friend priest just to get a copy of his own birth certificate. An impossible but little deed. She knew now that she couldn’t resent her smart brother. The six years of coldness came to a stop… thanks to the sibling’s love.

Unchangable?

Many people find me amusing. They always want my company. So I tried, and I am still trying to please them. I will do whatever I can to keep them satisfied. But is this what I really wanted? I mean, I always considered the feelings of people around me… But the sad thing is that I haven’t given much attention to the person who really matters to me the most… Myself. Yes, that’s right. The only person which I cannot please is myself. I am pretending all the time. I am a shallow and an insincere person who couldn’t reveal my true self.

People know me to be smart and friendly. They always ask for my opinion about trivial things, it’s like I’m such an important person. On the outside, I present myself to them as a confident and powerful person. But on the inside, I am empty. I am always wearing a mask. Sometimes I want to slack off, I want to be negligent. But that wouldn’t sound right. People are depending on me. I am not saying this to boast about my achievements. But thinking about it, I am not that good. I am terrible. I see people who are inferior to me as slovenly people, who cannot do anything right. They are nothing but mere parasites, still I have to be kind to them. But I envy them, because they can move around acting stupid and all, and people don’t seem to mind at all. And here I am, trying to please everybody, which I know is wrong. But let’s not be a hypocrite, we all know that being well known is an advantage. Not for me. I sometimes wish and hope, that someday, people will stop admiring my wits. But still, I am also seeking for attention. That is why I’m empty. I don’t know what I want. I have everything, yet I have nothing to flaunt.

Let’s face it. I can’t change who I am even if I want to. People will judge me and avoid me. They’ll probably shift their attention to someone who’s like me or better than me. I don’t want that to happen. I can’t give up my high standing in class. But I want to be myself. Only for myself… My old friend once told me: “Don’t ever change. Stay who you are.” How ironic.

Epal! Just Shut Your Freaking Mouth!!!!!!!!

My classmate really pissed me off. She used to be my friend, USED TO BE… used to be someone who is so close to me. But she wasted a good friendship, I don’t hate her for that. Leave me, for all I care. If you don’t want me to be your friend, then why would I want you. It’s not like I really really like you. But the problem is… it’s not the reason why I’m so pissed off!

She don’t know how to enter properly in a conversation. I just hate her for that!

The situation (s):

DAY 1

I was EXCITEDLY talking to my real friend about something, when she butted in our conversation and started asking about our assignment. I kept quiet because I was offended. I thought that she just timed it wrong so I ignored it. Of course, our conversation didn’t continue because she talked to my friend the whole time, until our prof. came.

DAY 2

My friend asked me to continue my story, and so I continued. We were laughing and just when were having fun she talked to her again! I was INSULTED but then again I kept quiet. When she stopped talking some crap to my friend, my friend and I went on with our conversation… then again… ah! You guess it!

Yep! She'd done it again…. syet!

I kept quiet and pretended to be quite interested in her story and I DID NOT interrupt her!

Then she went out of the room. And when she came back, she talked to her other seat mate.

KSP?

DAY 3

Same thing always happen, so I decided to make her feel my cold rage. I was conversing with my friend when “she” faced us (again). I quickly turned my back on her and read my English text book. I obviously ignored her.

Did she get offended?

NO!!!

She just went on talking as if nothing had happened!

I honestly thought your smart. But judging from your manners, your no better than a monkey!

You shameless pig!

Don't worry, I don’t hate you.

A Lousy Kwek!!!

2 things that made my mind dizzy:

1. Last Sunday was a heaven-hell day. Shacks! It was the beginning of my varsity training!!! And let me tell you, it was no piece of heaven. My body is aching all over and two days had passed and I can still FEEL the PAIN! Okay. So the training wasn’t easy but I felt a sense of fulfillment. But it was so hard! I used my muscles which I never used before (actually I was just adjusting again).

I’m exhausted but I am happy.

2. Another storm has come! First Florita, then Glenda, and now Henry! These storms came non stop! Actually, they took breaks, about a day or so. But what I can’t take about the storms that were coming in and going out of the country….were… FROGS! Yes, frogs!

Kwek, kwek (not kokak)!!!!

I can’t concentrate on doing my home works because some frogs decided to have a musical concert. And where did they do it?

Just outside my room!

First, I decided to ignore them. But the harmonious choir of frogs turned into a rock band!!!

Kwek kweck then another kwok kwok and some kwak kwak!!!

I was frustrated, kwok!

Three hours had passed and they were still there, singing their kwek’s and kwok’s and kwak’s to their hearts' content! And there was I planning to smash my head on the wall!

I decided to sleep… kwek! kwek! kwok! kwak!

Putting myself to sleep was hard, but repeatedly hearing those frogs’ kweks in my head (while sleeping) was harder! My sleep was a total disaster!

Nevertheless, I woke up with kwek’s kwok’s and kwak’s revolving and rotating in my head…

LOOK AT THE BOTTOM!

Hey! I just got Christina Aguilera's new song (Ain't No Other Man) and live performance video. It really rocks since her past music videos sucks! I'm talking about the MUSIC VIDEOS not the songs. You know what I mean, right?!

Courtesy of Them?!

It’s not TRUE that “Friends tell you who you are.” For a fact, “Friends made you who you are.” And that’s the truth about personality. When your friends are smart (not geeks) and your not, it’s a mismatch in today’s society. Therefore, you’ll strive hard to be like them. You’ll copy their study habits and you may even copy their looks. Which is good (I think). But on the other side, if your friends prefer beauty over brains, then your dead meat. I’m not opposing people like them, but I just encountered some nasty changes on some people.

Like this person I know, who is naturally smart and was really good in math and english (before). I really admired her smart and witty personality. But when she starts hanging out with dumb girls (really dumb but pretty), she loses all her brains. And she instantly became invisible on our sights. She starts skipping classes and focus more on boys! She's even the one who makes the first move. Talk about cheapness. But in spite all that, I’m still kind to her. I hope she’ll turn back into her old self again before it’s too late.

If friends made you who you are… then… no wonder why my friends turned into uber cool friends since they met me, seriously! On second thought, just kidding, someone might whack me with a huge mallet upon hearing this thoughts. You know who you are… :-p

Pigging Out During Storms!

Why am I always hungry when it’s raining? Especially when I’m at home with nothing to do? I eat every 2 hours (or 1 hour?) and I always ask for an extra rice during breakfast, lunch and dinner! Will that make me gain some weight? Coz’ if it will, then “Yehey!” I’ve been trying to do that for years now. But it’s not working at this time, it sucks. Well, at least, classes are suspended during the storm… :-p

And raiding our fridge is pretty cool too (and yummy)!